“Pitiful and Incomprehensible Demoralization”

Article written by Jobaly Timerivess 6-6-06

Bill W. scribed the term to us “pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization”.

Oh Mr. Wilson!  Yea for art thou a colorful writer to stretch your mind around such an appropriate and relate-able term as “Pitiful and Incomprehensible Demoralization”.   Oh how you must have suffered to feel these heinous words rushing through your blood and soul!

Okay, okay I am getting a little artistic-ly carried away here.  So sorry.  But to this I do feel inspired.  ”

Poetic Scripture Paraphrased from memory (parts are missing)

“Yea thou I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil, for THOU art with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.  Thou preparest me a seat at the table of mine enemies (meaning I am in safety). Thou makest me to lye down in green pastures (I am comforted).  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I SHALL dwell in The House of The Lord forever.”  It is done.

We addicts have walked in the shadow of death for years.  We have felt the pitiful demoralization Bill W. penned.  We have suffered beyond words. And we have felt the pain of hopelessness to our very bones.  We have watched as our brothers fell by the needle, over-doses and suicide.  We have cried unto a distant God all the while with the contempt of blame hidden inside our heart as that desperate prayer left our lips in hopes of rescue.

Did we finally get help?  Did God our Creator and Spiritual Father finally lay out a plan of recovery for us the scourge of the Earth?  Ah Lord if thouest would please hear our prayer of how forsaken we feel among our brethren who don’t understand in anyway our plight of a torn self destruction.

Ye unto those who are blind to the sufferings of the addict and say “It has fallen unto him as it should, he has delivered his own demise to himself, and so he gets what he deserves”.  Lord forgive the normie for such blind judgement as this.

And then what do we see after our prayer?  We walk through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous and suddenly we hear that ambient (encompassing) term “demoralization”.  “Surely this describes us to a tee”  we scream aloud. And what? Suddenly we realize we are not the only one who is like us. There are others who feel what we feel and know what we know. We have just experience 50% of what recovery is…self validation by fellowship. Praise be, we scream aloud, praise be!

Is it not a wonder that addicts side with AA even unto blindness of it’s shortcomings? When something saves our life we defend it as we would defend ourselves, even uto the gates of dysfunction. That is, until we work the steps and find some balance in our personalities and thinking.

We enter the rooms fucked up more than most, and if we DON’T do the work and take every 12 step action VERY seriously our recovery will be precarious at best. For “the same man will drink again.” Therefore we must and WILL change. With God’s help we will get the psychic change talked about in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:
“Men and women drink essentially because they like the affect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many people do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.”

Dr. Silkworth, “A Doctor’s Opinion”

Without the experience of a psychic change there is little hope of recovery.