Subutex Detox Fear List & Chronicles of Progress.

Detox Progress


It took me nearly a year to go from 3 pills a day to one.  But it was relatively without fear until I got down to 3/4 a pill.  So I pulled out some tools that have in past times worked best for me.  I went to a meeting and stated my plan to get off suboxone, subutex.

I previously prayed steps 2 & 3 that God deliver me from the obsession compulsion by stopping the gnawing voice to take more pills.

I pulled out the God box I made years ago and put my fears of failure and addiction in it.

And began a diary type fear list to practice what I preach that its reactions to unprocessed repressed fear that does the damage of addiction.  The Truth will set us free.  Me free.

I got down to 3/4 pill a day and felt fear and took another extra half after 4 days on 3/4. I gave in. I felt failure.   I promised I would not condemn myself, but rather keep getting back up.

During the detox on 5-13-21 I felt—

I have a wrenching feeling in my gut with a voice telling me to take more pills that it’s the solution.  (a lie)  The pills no longer work in the way the voice tells me.

I prayed against the voice and realized I didn’t confess the fears of

present uncomfortable wrenching feelings.

I realized I fear

future feelings and present feelings.

I got the dominant fears on paper.

I realized my 4 steps forward one step back pattern has been present all the way from 4 pills a day to now at 1 pill a day & less.  I won’t beat myself I don’t have the right and it doesn’t help. Self abating is not one of the 12 steps and creates a whole other line of problems.

I must speak kind to myself always. No matter what.


Took 1/3 pill.  Will likely take 1/4 tonight.