What is “The Cure” and how Long Does it Take?
One -reprogramming of behaviors by AA or NA meetings or a similar habitual fellowship. Two-And you need healing from emotional trauma. Trauma have not yet even identified, much less addressed. Three-Spiritual help from God to face one’s past one step at a time. Watch Dr. Gabor Mate’ vids.
Below I explain these two tasks in a general way. It takes 7 years of intense work to reprogram behaviors. But without the emotional trauma work & the spiritual enlightenment & overhaul, you will need meetings the rest of your life.
The culprits are fear, shame, hurt, false pride, self deception, the inability to process emotions, & an intense denial of fears that the intellect deems illogical.
People think automatically that when I say “cure for addiction” I mean they can successfully drink again. No! By cure I mean, we won’t want to drink again, no desire. Also by cure I mean doing the work to define & find the emotional causes of the allergy and processing those emotional triggers.
People usually would rather call addiction a disease than to admit and face their own debilitating fear & pain. Why? Because to do that we must become emotionally vulnerable. The Truth shall set you free.
Being “baffled” by anything isn’t a stance we should fight to stay in, is it? Dr. Gabor (video at end of page) says, “The heart of addiction is ALWAYS emotional loss.”(trauma, neglect, abuse).
Thing is children have no way of recognizing emotional abuse when it’s happening. The addict adult scarcely wants to process the real causes of his pain especially when its mommy or daddy they defend vehemently! “I needed to be spanked or beaten it was for my own good.”
They have no clue what being violently treated does to a child’s self worth. Or that their own heart is screaming out inside.
The real cure for addiction doesn’t poise addiction as being magically stronger than an emotional healing. By far the healing from addiction leaves one enlightened and seldom if ever wanting to avoid life and reality.
Make no mistake Spirituality is a cure to anything when applied. That’s not rocket science. So, what is the allergy? The allergy component in addiction is emotional pain, shame, and fear.
When the pain & hurt are cleared up there’s no reason to numb one’s self. If I am not in emotional pain my body won’t react to drugs with a sigh of relief. Again…this isn’t rocket science.
Some people feel the great relief when they do they dope. And others just get high. That is the deciding factor. And who wouldn’t keep grabbing for their cure to intense fear and debilitating emotional pain? My issue is this, its so simple like 1+1 why in the hell does the world label addiction baffling?
Because your also dealing with programming. Once a person uses dope as a solution to pain for so many years it becomes habit, programming. And its not at all easy to quit. Even for those who have addressed their core issues of hurt, rejection, & being abused by those they trusted most. Now they have to make something else habitual–the 12 steps and meetings. But after seven years of meetings if a man does the work he should be able to put down the meetings, (The meetings are the reprogramming) and just use the 12 steps as a behavioral guide from there on out.
I said the cure is spiritual and it is. If a man doesn’t include prayer and meditation with positive daily affirmations of his own goodness he’s missing part of the cure.
But addicts will do anything to avoid seeing that their “pack” and childhood in most cases is what made them sick in the first place. Believe me I know the subconscious will to protect the pack. I know how to bury memories and avoid core feelings. The pack mentality stands guard to protect every addiction. False pride sits with it’s gun cocked and ready to shoot down any realizations of intense shame. The ego screams and shuts down any tears that form at the base of core emotional issues. “Out of the problem into the solution!” is only good advice when we are reveling in chaos, blame,
condemnation of self or other character flaws. It’s good advice when circumstances merit a solution. But what if the solution to addiction is actually to cry the deepest un-cried tears in your heart.
What if the cure is to have an empathic ear who hears your past intense pains and feelings about events so buried that only years of therapy & meditation can reveal the crisis to you? And that’s IF you find an empathic therapist who knows how to pull that stuff up out of you without your defenses clamouring to fire them.
And suppose the original crisis merits screams and moans that a mere tear would be too weak to harness. Can you relive trauma? Because that is what is needed but this time you won’t repress it and blame yourself. This time you do what emotions were meant to do…YOU GET IT OUT BY EXPRESSION.
What if all an addict needs to do is be understood and told it’s okay to hurt and cry your un-cried tears? And to be validated of the fact that we were harshly wronged at a tender young age. What if? What if?
AA is not bad but being shut down emotionally by a non empathic, emotionally constipated sponsor who says: “it’s bad to share human feelings or to be negative” or “addiction has nothing to do with emotions” This IS a mistake.
Just a mistake. There are lots of temporary distractions to addiction but the cure is both emotional and spiritual and it requires heart wrenching expressions of true release.
Think of yourself as a bottle who was shamed for crying, screaming, & even talking about fear & pain. So you just started saving it, inside till it made you very sick. And its still there, taking on a life of its own. Coming out in rage and projection, blame and false pride.
The cure also includes A.A. and lots of meditation and prayer for reprogramming. Getting in touch with core feelings is one task. Speaking one’s heart about those feelings and events is task two. Finding an empathic listener who won’t shut you down to process is task three. You can process much of what’s “coming up” by tears and screams no-one need hear. There is true magic in the relating and sharing of our deepest pains. The truth shall set you free but first one needs to let the truth be told. INTELLECT IS THE ENEMY OF THE HEART. Feelings do not have to make sense but make no mistake, they are valid and there for a reason. Your heart won’t lie. But your intellect will lie like hell to you. Why? Why self deception?
So you don’t have to feel what he Truth would tell you, of course.
Related story http://www.recoveryfarmhouse.net/recovery-from-addiction/
Related story: https://www.recoveryfarmhouse.com/12-steps-and-the-right-therapy-go-hand-in-hand/