Cunning Baffling & Powerful?
If you are an addict who has felt the obsession compulsion and what it feels like to do what you do not want to do then you know the spiritual aspect of addiction. That my friend is the part that is cunning and baffling to most.
Why is it some people get paranoid on really good weed and other’s do not? There is likely more than one reason but I have some spiritual answers to the question.
Continue reading “Addiction-The War for Your Soul”
Written by Laura E.
You bet your sweet bippy generational curses are real and they can be broken by The Holy Spirit.
Yes we have the debate of nature vs nurture and it is valid as we are formed by BOTH. Nature would be all the genes and hereditary factors that influence who we are—from our physical appearance to our personality characteristics. Therefore “nature” also means generational curses especially I am referring to addiction.
Continue reading “The Generational Curse of Addiction Overcome”
Charlie Sheen states he quit drugs by his own power of thought.
Update: Apparently according to online sources Charlie Seen did stay sober on his own for eleven years until he was diagnosed in 2016-January with H.I.V. Some articles state his sobriety was a farce. The news of his HIV threw him into a deep state of anxiety and relapse apparently. Recent information states he detoxed at his father's Malibu home in 2017-April. Hopefully since then he is finding spiritual help. Recent info says he is sober now and doing charity work as an HIV solutions advocate.
2011-Charlie Sheen stated that he quit drugs by his own self will. I must admit I know people sober for long periods of time who have done it on their own. Granted…this does not allow for any work on the core reasons for the need to numb ones awarness on a regular basis. Nor does it introduce emotional coping skills that work for many addicts. The article below is so accurate in my opinion I had to share it with you. Taken from https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/can-you-cure-yourself-of-addiction/ and written by: By Nina Bai on March 4, 2011
I am especially impressed with the accuracy of the statement made by: “Scientific American spoke with Sally Satel, a resident scholar at the American Enterprise Institute for Public Policy Research and lecturer in
psychiatry at the Yale University School of Medicine, about quitting drugs without professional treatment. Satel was formerly a staff psychiatrist at
the Oasis Clinic in Washington, D.C., where she worked with substance abuse patients.”
Continue reading “Can An Addict Really Quit Drugs On Their Own?”
Jails, Institutions, and Near Death
Spring of 2006 I spent 2 months in jail getting sober for the last time. I spent my time locked up reading the Bible, The Big Book, writing ‘Paradise for the Hellbound’, and praying that the judge would sentence me to Bridgehouse. Bridgehouse (B.H.) is a rehab center owned by Meridian Behavioral Healthcare. I had been on the Methadone program there and I sent letters to my doctor to get me into rehab from jail. He was all for it. He himself later landed in rehab. Come to find out the doc was dipping into his own meds .How convenient.
On June 15th 2006 I got transported to B.H. by a Levy County Sheriff to begin my 28-day stay. Twenty-eight days…… twenty-eight days …. (reminiscent sigh). In the spring of 2006 28 days seemed like a very long time. The days were long and the nights were even longer. I had been in my addiction for nearly 35 years.
Continue reading “Recovery from Addiction”
What is Addiction Really?
We do not have to know “why” we became addicts to recover. If our brains are still prone to obsession it’s understandable that our sponsors suggest to us “don’t ask why”. For the sake of peace in the first few years we should both “choose our battle’s” wisely and choose our purposes and goals wisely. “Out of the problem into the solution” is by far one of my most valuable mantras for recovery.
However moving on into a more mature lifestyle I am discovering my truths and who I am. If I question nothing and never ask “why” I shut myself out to both knowledge and learning. This flipside of the “why ask why” coin is both dangerous and lacks depth. A lack of learning is akin to a stagnant mind and stunted emotional growth. My mind should have moved on into sanity at some point. If I work the steps and get some good therapy.
First let me tell you this. I have had long periods of sobriety then relapsed. My last sober run beginning in 2006 and still going strong. Oddly the topic of addiction interests me thoroughly even today after years of sobriety.
So what is addiction really? Is it cunning, baffling and powerful? At some point we can all agree that “yes” it is. What does the Big Book tell us? It’s insidious, progressive, deadly, destructive and a spiritual sickness or malady of sorts. Some says it’s inherited and genetic. Some say it grounded in our environment.
“From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.” Big Book fourth step.
There’s that contradiction again “spiritually and sick”. Spirituality is in some ways a replacement drug for addiction.
Continue reading “What is Addiction Really?”
RECOVERED OR RECOVERING? Click here to read summary
Page 64 Big Book: Our liquor was but a symptom. We HAD TO get down to causes and conditions.
Here’s the thing. Recovery is a process. It can be dangerous for a person under approx. 5 to 7 years (w/variables) sober to adapt the “recovered” view point because you know what they might do. I don’t believe anyone should stop going to meetings until they truly are fully recovered and/or know how to apply the steps in their daily life.
Who is recovered?
Continue reading “Recover-ING or Recover-ED? By Lori Edgar”
ACCEPTANCE IS A PROCESS NOT A LIGHT SWITCH
I WAS VERY SICK FOR A LONG TIME
When I got sober after 30 years of drinking, drugging, and sick relationships I was scared to death. My self-esteem was zero. I was afraid to make a choice about pretty much anything for fear it would be wrong. I didn’t trust myself or my choices and hadn’t for a long time, that is unless I was in control-ism mode. But once I sobered up certain behaviors stopped immediately other habits took some time to develop.
SOBER DREAMS DO COME TRUE
I met a nice guy in AA. He had seven years sober. I like him so much but I was scared to death. That did not stop me from building a relationship. Well the thing is I was also going through group therapy at the time. All three of my
Continue reading “WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE”
Why Are Addicts in so Much Emotional Pain?
Page 64 Big Book: Our liquor was but a symptom. We HAD TO get down to causes and conditions.
Why do addicts seem to have a proclivity towards self destruction?
Why are addicts so inclined to blame others for their own choices?
And the biggie, why do our sponsors teach us to not ask “why”?
Answer number one: I was in so much pain that I needed to numb myself due to a life-time of hiding away my true identity. By hiding intense feelings and thoughts away my pain lived inside me till I finally was taught how to let it all out.
Because of emotional neglect
Continue reading “Why Are Addicts in so Much Emotional Pain?”
You’re Right Where You’re supposed to be.
Link to Twelve Step Prayers.
Your Right Where Your Supposed to Be
So many times during the first two years of recovery I felt as if I was somehow doing something wrong in my recovery or that something was not right with my progress. I used to feel like my feelings themselves where wrong. Especially if I was sad or fearful, on the edge of depression or angry. I was fortunate to have effective group therapy which when combined with Alcoholics Anonymous kept me and several of my rehab-mates sober for a very long time. We all had sexual abuse in our past and took our addiction to places we were ashamed of. But I learned THERE IS NO WRONG FEELING, EVER.
It’s completely normal to go through an emotional rollercoaster ride in the first couple years of sobriety.
Continue reading “You’re Right Where You’re Supposed to Be.”
Is Resentment the Number One Offender?
What is at the core of your addiction? I suppose everyone must answer it for themselves. But I think it’s important to answer it. For me it was a deep wound. An emotional constipation. A deep hurt that I didn’t know how to express in a way that was healthy and appropriate. Shame was at the core it surrounded the wound.
So when I finally got the spiritual and emotional laxative (therapy, 12 steps, God) it took quite some time to cry it all out. All that’s left now of my malady is a scar and a few old habits that die hard called character flaws. Many of the character defects I acquired through the years of addiction, like resentment were nothing more than a distraction from my painful shame. Resentment was a place to lay blame on how a felt. I needed to lay blame because it was myself I condemned deep in my heart.
No, for me resentment wasn’t the number one offender, shame was. I mustn’t be ashamed and keep secrets. I try to stay clear of shame and be an open book. Writing and sharing…the truth sets me free. Shame….no one wants to admit shame. People are ashamed of shame because it is perceived as weakness. It’s a dirty little word.
It wasn’t the wound so much as the shame I blanketed it in that made me so self destructive.
I was taught to be ashamed of who I was, and that my feelings were wrong. And that basically I didn’t even have a right to be on this earth. That’s a hard one to shake…so I drank.
Resentment is the acceptable blame based emotion that distracts me from my hurt and shame. I am too ashamed of being hurt cause I see it as weakness. So I cover it all up in a nice package called “blame” and put a big bow on it called resentment. And I carry the package around with me never having to look at what is really inside.
That is until I got sober nearly Ten years ago. But for the Grace of God, But for the Grace of God.
THE CURE FOR MY ADDICTION IS WRITTEN IN PART 1 OF THIS TWO ARTICLE SERIES-RESENTMENT THE NUMBER ONE OFFENDER. http://www.recoveryfarmhouse.net/resentment-number-offender/