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WHY DO MEN RECOVER MORE OFTEN THAN WOMEN?

Statistically Why Are More Men Staying Sober Than Women?

Why is it that there are more men getting and staying sober in the program of AA than women?  Why is it that we women seem to have more emotional issues that need addressing than men?  Partly we just talk about our issues more, men repress on a much larger scale.  Nevertheless we woman that do stay sober are usually more of the “tomboy” type.  The very feminine and highly fragile woman rarely can get through what it takes to stay sober.  Experience teaches that us rough types even often bi-sexual type women have a much higher chance statistically of staying sober than do the frail and feminine. 

Clearly experience teaches it’s the “alpha” females who stay sober in much greater numbers than the more submissive woman.  But we must learn to make ourselves vulnerable emotionally rather than protecting ourselves emotionally. “Sobriety ain’t for sissies!”  So bone up ladies!  You can do it but it’s gonna hurt!  The bad news is…we can feel again, the good news is…we can feel again.  Yes and we have a boat load of emotional issues and character flaws to give to our Higher Power and to ebb-away at. 

Firstly, in my nine years of recovery which ya, hey it is allot of clean-time and I won’t pretend that it isn’t even if it is by the Grace of God.   I have done a hell-of-allot of work on myself, with the help of other women.  And what I have seen in AA is there is only one woman in AA that I have met whom was not sexually abused as a child.  I have silent theories this is the “why” behind most addictions.  The guilt and shame a young child will place on her-self for something she really was not equipped to resist is astounding even life-changing.  We addict woman have learned by the age of ten or younger that we can use our sexuality against men (or women) to control them, manipulate them, and force feed them guilt to get whatever we want from them.

 

We are in recovery now it is time to do our sexual inventory not absent of crimes done to us.  We write how that made us feel but rite now we are addressing our side of the street and cleaning it.  On page…ok ya page 69 in the Big Book Itgives us a long list of questions to ask ourselves.  These question help us with this inventory of our sex based wrongs.     It is imperative for our emotional sobriety that we go over this list honestly and thoroughly and own up to all those that we have manipulated with our sexuality.  Usually the men on our Fourth Step resentment list will also be a big part of our sexual inventory.  In spite of how these men have wronged and abused us it is vital that we see “our part” so we can learn to Love and keep Love close to us and in us.  Yes I am saying Love is of greater importance than anything however we are usually incapable of showing Love and acting out of Love when we are deep in our addiction so that sets sobriety up as a priority before anything else in our lives even Love.

 

Most of us when abused,  didn’t run to an adult and snitch the assailant out, we wanted someone to Love us.  We confused affection with Love and we thought to get Love we had to drop our moral boundaries.  We thought we had to be hurt to get what we needed.  Perhaps that’s what our parents ingrained in us.  And so we turned things around because we are survivors and we used our sexual power accompanied with lies and deception to get what we thought we needed at the time…usually money, drugs, & the basic things like food and shelter.

 

Some of us even sold our bodies outright for money to get drugs.  We were exposed to many disgusting and painful situations.  Some that we barely made it out of alive.  It’s no wonder we learned to hate men.  It’s no wonder we learned to hate women!  They were our competition they betrayed our confidence!  Screw woman! We could not manipulate them as easily.

 

But now we must put our “woman’s issues” on our fourth step.  We will need other women if we are to heal and stay sober.  So we pray for God to put the right woman in our lives so we can experience the “sisterhood of The Spirit”.  Men absolutely are incapable of relating to many aspects of our personalities therefore they are of limited use to us in recovery when working through these core woman’s issues.  If we have a chance to get into a woman’s meeting we DO IT!  These meetings are much more intimate and women will share things that  absolutely will not hear in a regular meeting, shares that are vital for our healing

 

We begin to let our abuses out of our bag of secrets.  We expose some shameful actions of our past in our fifth step with a sponsor and we expose other secrets in the rooms with the woman.  We will find that doing so will put in place the connection that we need to other woman.  When we listen in our women’s meeting we train ourselves to LOOK FOR THE SIMILARITIES RATHER THAN THE DIFFERENCES!

 

Finding someone to criticize is an old survival skill that deflects self-guilt.  Criticism feeds the ego that which it needs to go-on however, criticism is not what we need now…we need empathy, we need healing and that will never come whilst seeking differences so we can criticize others.  We write ourselves a note “seek the similarities don’t criticize!” and we put that in front of us in every meeting we go to until we have trained our brains and have built a bridge over the sick neuron-pathways called addiction.  Our brain-bridge is called “survival for the sober”.  Building a sober brain-bridge takes work and a supernatural kick so we start by ninety meetings in ninety days and we pray for willingness, clarity, guidance, healing, and for HP to make a way where there seems no way.

 

We have deep and imbedded trust issues that simply must be ignored to an extent so we can get what we need.  We may not be able to trust but we will nevertheless choose a sponsor and work the Fifth Step leaving no debauchery uncovered.  That which we want to keep secret the most should be at the top of our fourth step.  The Truth will set us free.

 

We put the “blame-game” in the garbage.  We are responsible for processing every feeling that comes into our hearts.  If we have sex with a person they owe us nothing!  It is our choice weather we have sex and unless we tell the person up-front a price for that sex…they owe us nothing.  Not a phone call, not to fix things for us, not to make our choices for us, nor a place to stay they owe us nothing.  If we expect something from a person we are in bed with then we should be up-front about it.  We can propose that if they are screwing other people we will have to leave the relationship.  They are adult they can do as they please.  They can make promises that they won’t keep.  If they don’t respect us then we leave the relationship it is our choice if we stay therefore blame is off the table.  Granted we can command respect but it is us who must draw the line in the sand and walk away when it is crossed.  We cannot make other adults do anything we can only request and suggest.

 

If we feel we have been wronged we should call a woman and talk it out.  If a law has been broken we may call the cops.  We may find if we talk things out with another woman that it is our unresolved issues that are haunting us rather than the person we are in bed with in the present.  We addicts tend to carry an ink-blotter stamping “guilty” on anyone we are intimate with once the fairy-tale phase of the relationship is over.  Not anymore!  Now we journal, we write “fuck you” letters (do not send) to vent our angers.  We scream in our cars if we have to.  We beat the pillow, we talk it out with woman but we do not blame anyone anymore for our feelings ever.

 

Even if we are wronged…can the person process our emotions?  No!  If others had the responsibility of processing and dealing with our feelings then we would be slaves to other people which we are not.  We are learning how to take responsibility for our lives and our emotions.  It is not easy, not for sissies but you can do it my dear because you are stronger and capable of a deeper Love than most women can even imagine.  Why?  Because of the deep pain you have suffered.

 

Your emotional pain has carved out a deep dark hole in your heart.  You will process that hurt and replace it with Love.  That is why we women in recovery are more capable of a deeper Love than anyone who has not been through the trauma that we have.  Seek God and The Sunlight of The Spirit and you shall be a vessel of joy, Love, and happiness amidst the tears that have gone un-cried for too long.

WHY ADDICTION DIFFERS BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

 

 

 

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CONFESSIONS OF A METH COOK The Untold Stories NOW TOLD!

CONFESSIONS OF A METH COOK

BLOG TALK RADIO OWNS ALL RIGHTS TO THIS CONTENT AUDIO, FACEBOOK OWNS ALL RIGHTS TO THE POSTED LITERARY CONTENT WE THANK THEM BOTH FOR THEIR KIND AND GENEROUS ONLINE SHARE POLICIES. THE LINK TO DALE GARRETT’S AUDIO LIBRARY IS BELOW. Know this: Once you post to Facebook, it belongs to the world.

The Untold Stories NOW TOLD!

Confessions of a Meth Lab Cook is an audio by blog talk radio and Dale Garrett.  Dale Garrett is a wonderful guy who takes his experience strength and hope to the people who need to hear it most.  He makes weekly audio shows at blog talk radio
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thereslifeafterdrugs

“AS TIME HAS PASSED MANY HAVE SENT TO ME THEIR STORIES OF HOW THEIR LIVES HAVE BEEN TURNED INSIDE OUT BY THE DECISIONS AND ACTIONS THAT THEY MADE, NAMELY ALL LEADING BACK TO THE USE OR MAKING OF METHAMPHETAMINE, NOW THEY HAVE ASKED ME TO SHARE THEIR STORIES IN HOPES THAT BY DOING SO IT WILL SHOW OTHERS THE HORROR AND DEVASTATION THAT COMES ALONG WITH THIS SO CALLED GLAMOURS LIFESTYLE,, SO I INVITE YOU TO JOIN BOTH MYSELF AND MY HOST SARAH BETH AS WE TAKE YOU ON A JOURNEY THROUGH THE LIVES OF 3 YOUNG LADIES LIVES WHO GOT TRAPPED IN THE METH GAME, AND NEARLY LOST EVERYTHING,BUT….THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, FOR YOU SEE, THEY WERE BLESSED TO BE ABLE TO MAKE IT OUT OF THIS EVIL MADNESS THAT NOW PLAGUES OUR SOCIETY, SO JOIN US IF YOU WILL..FOR OUR SHOW “CONFESSIONS OF A METH COOK “THE UNTOLD STORIES” By Dale Garrett
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thereslifeafterdrugs

WHO REALLY OWNS YOUR FACEBOOK POSTS?

Your Words and Information http://blogs.findlaw.com/law_and_life/2014/10/who-legally-owns-your-facebook-posts.html

While Facebook may say that you “own” your posts, it turns out that much of the legal impact of your ownership boils down to your privacy settings. Facebook is constantly making changes to its privacy policy, but the bottom line is this: Whatever words or information you post under the “Public” setting are fair game for anyone to use.

That means if you share your recipe on Facebook, and celebrity chef Bobby Flay decides to appropriate it for his next cookbook, you won’t be getting any royalties. This is partially because recipes generally aren’t available for copyright, but most of your posts containing words and information aren’t either.

Your Photos and Videos

Facebook users have slightly more rights to the photos and videos which you post to the site, as those works are easier to protect via copyright. However, Facebook’s terms allow them “a non-exclusive, transferable, sub-licensable, royalty-free, worldwide license to use any IP content that you post on or in connection with Facebook.” In layman’s terms, Facebook has license to use the photos and videos you post (which you own) in any way it sees fit, without paying you, and it can transfer that license to third parties.

Typically, you could sue a company like Facebook for using your image without your permission (or without paying you) under your rights of publicity. But by joining Facebook, you’ve essentially given the company carte blanche to do what it will with your images and videos, not to mention whomever Facebook decides to share your media with.
READ MORE WHAT ARE MY RIGHTS, FACEBOOK POSTS

New International Version

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

New Living Translation
God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.

English Standard Version
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Berean Study Bible
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

Berean Literal Bible
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

New American Standard Bible
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

King James Bible
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

Holman Christian Standard Bible
The peacemakers are blessed, for they will be called sons of God.

International Standard Version
“How blessed are those who make peace, because it is they who will be called God’s children!

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They Say…”Addicts Stop Maturing Emotionally When They Start Using”…

I was not able to find any scientific evidence stating addicts stunt their emotional growth the minute they start drinking and drugging to cope with their feelings.

What is emotional maturity?  A mature person takes responsibility for their own feelings and actions and learns what to do with their emotions  (contrary to repression or blame).  Coupled with the acceptance of others and the ability to NOT PLAY GOD.  They show respect toward their fellow man and do no harm to themselves or others of any form.

ANGER THE ACCEPTED EMOTION

But it’s obvious and common-sense that when we no longer use healthy emotional coping skills we resort to unhealthy ones.   Drinking and drugging to mask intense fear and inferiority issues causes emotional stagnation.  This emotional numbing process goes hand in hand with suppressing feelings.  For instance instead of crying when we are hurt we pound down a twelve pack and become an angry drunk because we think to be hurt shows weakness so we never address the core “emotional hurts” behind our anger.  The supposedly “recovering” addict can engage in a similar sick emotional process while sober.  Just substitute blame or any character defect in place of the twelve pack and we can still repress our emotions and stay in denial of fear and pain.

My own inadequacies are haunting me even after years of twelve step work, therapy, and spiritual experiences.

There seems to be no permanent remedy to character defects and perfectionism.  But rather it takes spiritual maintenance (steps 10-12) to stay positive and emotionally healthy once sick emotional processes have been introduced to the brain (especially in the formative years).

I really do dislike the fact that I can’t be fixed once and for all and that I will always need spiritual solutions BUT there are worse things.

“FEAR” THE UNACCEPTABLE FEELING

Here is what Bill W. said about “fear”;

“this short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives.  It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it.  It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn’t deserve. But did not we ourselves set the ball rolling?”

Before we can mature emotionally in sobriety we need to learn how to process our feelings.  Sounds like psycho-babble right?  Emotionally healthy people use processes like this for instance.

“HURT FEELINGS” THE UNACCEPTABLE  EMOTION & SOLUTIONS

First we admit our emotional pains, insecurities and fears.  We moan, scream (not at anybody)  or cry them out, that’s why God made tear ducts.  And we write them down.  We share them with someone and then we give them to God.  Fear itself is not the character defect because it’s a feeling and feelings are part of us.  Actions however, can be defective.  We are clearly not trusting our Higher Power if we are paralyzed by fear.  We ask for God’s help with our lack of faith and trust. We can use a God box to help us let go of the things that we are putting in God’s care.

Now if you or your sponsor have labelled any part of natures healthy emotional processing techniques as “character flaws” and have deemed crying as “self-pity” and labelled sharing and writing our fear list as “self-centered & self indulgent” then it’s time to fire our sponsor and find one that is compassionate and understanding even empathetic.

Steps Ten through Twelve do work just as step four and five works to clear the wreckage of the past.  But when it comes to fear addicts and alcoholics seem to be loaded down with more fear than the average person.   I believe this is because we were introduced to fear as a result of some childhood emotional trauma and it set the ball rolling in our brains.  And so we set out for a solution to our fear based feelings and double helping of shame that came with it.

It’s imperative that in recovery we learn to open up about who we are and how we feel.  The tough girl, tough boy facade must be left behind.

We will mature emotionally if we allow natures process to flow through us rather than getting stuck.

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Robin Williams Wife Finally Breaks the Silence

IT WASN’T DEPRESSION THAT KILLED ROBIN WILLIAMS IT WAS DEMENTIA AND A RARE BRAIN DISEASE (Louie body demntia)

“Was he losing his mind?” Susan-“Yes”.

SEE VIDEO NOW ORIGINAL ARTICLE NY DAILY NEWS.COM
Beloved comedian Robin Williams’ widow, Susan Williams, says she doesn’t blame him “one bit” for committing suicide — and that his final act was simply a way to wrest back control from a “sea monster” of a disease.

In her first interview since her husband’s Aug. 11, 2014 death, a tearful Susan opened about her husband’s demons on a “Good Morning America” interview airing Tuesday.

“I got to tell him, ‘I forgive you 50 billion percent, with all my heart. You’re the bravest man I’ve ever known,'” she recalled of the day Williams, 63, was found after hanging himself with a belt. “You know, we were living a nightmare.”

Susan compared the “Mrs. Doubtfire” actor’s “endless parade of        symptoms” in the months leading up to his death to a game of Whac-A-Mole, admitting she thought he was a hypochondriac at first. He would’ve had “maybe three years” left if he was lucky, she said.
>READ MORE SEE THE INTENSE VIDEO NOW

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Paul Williams Tells his story of Hitting Rock Bottom

Paul Williams: Coming Back from Rock Bottom | Super Soul Sunday | Oprah Winfrey Network

Watch both video’s.  They are very short at these links.

http://realestate.aol.com/blog/videos/real-estate/518511534/
Songwriting legend Paul Williams says that, at the height of his fame, an addiction to alcohol and drugs nearly destroyed him. After hitting bottom
a bunch of alcoholics in Oklahoma City prayed in a prayer circle for him and that night in a black out Paul Williams finally called a doctor and went to rehab.  Above is the link to the video and also after the P. Williams video is the Oprah show that talks about Normies needing recovery too.

See him tell the story of what saved him at this link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROgkQnrGUic

OMG He wrote “Just an old fashion love song” that Three Dog Night made famous but here’s his version with the mupputs. Too funny.
PAUL WILLIAMS AND MUPPETS. Also wrote “Rainy Days and Mondays” that the carpenters made famous. And

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I WON’T CO-SIGN YOUR BULLSHIT!

“I WON’T CO-SIGN YOUR BULLSHIT!”

Scream the 12 step sponsors to the detriment of their heartsick fellows! There is a great need in AA to understand the difference between co-signing bull shit and showing Love by exerting understanding, compassion, and care.

There is a great need to understand the difference between self-pity and the expression of valid feelings such as anger, and hurt.

Human feelings that result from an abusive past need expressed for us to stay or get sane.

The words, “I know how you feel, you have a right to feel your pain, grieve and to process your hurt…even if, the feelings derive from years prior” are words that can heal a heart. Most addicts have stuffed down tears for years that desperately needed to be cried for us to attain emotional balance and healing. Usually when we get clean & sober all our un-cried tears come to the surface and scream to get out. We then ask ourselves: “What’s wrong with me, why am I so depressed, nothing bad is going on right now? Next our sponsors quickly tell us to “get over it and write a gratitude list” as they watch us slam the door in the face of AA.

Gratitude lists work great for those stomping their feet because things are not going their way (self-pity). However when it comes to the horrible feelings of grief that result from abuse, abandonment, neglect and other childhood trauma all our sponsors suggestion does is add to our low self-image and push us out the doors.

The most common “grave emotional disorder” that addicts in the rooms suffer from is the inability to process deep hurts and trauma inflicted as children & sometimes through adulthood. We have turned our hurt to anger and continually search for a scape-goat to blame for our intolerable feelings. Our hurts have morphed into anger because “grief”, unless short lived and a result of the death of a loved one is unacceptable in our society. When we experience any other cause of emotional pain except what’s socially acceptable we are often told to just “GET OVER IT!” So driven by shame we bone-up, pretend we are tuff-girls and boys, file our feelings under the “wrong and weak” category in our hearts and make ourselves sick till we have no other solution except to numb that which we have labeled “Invalid feelings”.

Is it no wonder that when one of us relapses so many seem to be so devastated by it…

even when we scarcely know the person who went back out? We are desperate to let out some of our grief in a way that is acceptable to our fellows. We all step up our meetings and talk about our pain and loss when it usually has nothing to do with the guy who just relapsed who we have never invited to our home by the way.

The need for validation of our deep hurt is huge and necessary for healing. It’s hard for us in recovery to see when we are stuffing down a pain that really needs to be expressed. Few of us were taught by example or in school that it’s ok to scream and cry feelings out, or that crying is a part of emotional health.

Grave emotional disorders

are not healed by just writing down [our part] and transferring all the blame from one scape goat to the next; [ourselves]. Please don’t hear what I am not saying…we addicts have boatloads of character defects that we need to work on however, not all grave emotional disorder is solved by doing a guilt based fourth step. Furthermore, if Bill W. would have had a course in empathic healing and were taught that his feelings are valid and how to emotionally process them he may not have spent at least 12 years sober and depressed trying so many therapies and pharmaceutical remedies.

Typically Bill was too hard on himself. There comes a time when we must pause from blaming ourselves for where we are at emotionally if we are to find answers and heal. There comes a time when we should realize that we were dealt a mistaken hand where our understanding of emotions is concerned and the steps don’t fix everything.

THERE IS NO WRONG FEELING

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JUST WHERE IS THIS ADDICT GENE?

“When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.” pg.64 Big Book

There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. pg. 58 BB

http://www.cnn.com/2012/09/13/health/jaffe-addiction-myths/

I myself have enjoyed the prospect of addiction being genetic.  “It’s like having cancer or arthritis, I was the victim.  That was then.  Even in the first several years of recovery I was convinced ‘once an addict always an addict’.  What changed my mind?  Not science, they are trying and have come a long way but bottom line after all my research, they don’t have the answers when it comes to genetics and addiction.  Scientists have theories and they disagree.  Fact is you will decide for yourself the cause of your addiction as have I.  For me it was emotional disorder and fear.  A lack of ability to express and release the emotional pain from childhood trauma and the fears that accompanied that.  “Terror management theory” is one scientists theory on addiction being fear based of which I agree.  I read; genetics are information and what we do with that info is not written in stone.  We are not robots.  Does it not take a load of responsibility, guilt, and shame off the addicts back to claim genetics?  I know it did for me.  When the pain gets too much it’s OK to show it.  Or blow up it’s your choice.  END Lori E_________________________

The following paragraphs are compiled from sources listed in footer.

Ten years ago science was said to be homing in on the “alcoholism gene.” Could a gene-based cure for addiction be far away?

(sources in footer)

Well, yes it could. It’s very far away, if even possible at all. Researchers now have identified over a thousand genes linked to alcoholism. The genetics of alcoholism mirrors what has become increasingly apparent to geneticists: life is complicated. The way you act or the quality of your health is likely influenced by many genes interacting with each other along with various environmental factors. The concept that a small number of genes are responsible for disease or behavior is obsolete.

What that means, in the case of alcoholics or drug addicts, is that even if your parents were addicted, it’s unlikely that their genes are the deciding factor that will make you an addict.

TWO MYTHS OF ADDICTION:

1.  THERE IS AN ADDICT GENE (from the CNN article)

There is no single gene, or set of genes, that determines whether or
not a person will become an addict. And even if a person’s parents are addicts, it doesn’t mean they will be too.
Why are there genes for addiction?   We all have the genetic predisposition for addiction because there is an evolutionary advantage to that. When an animal eats a certain food that it likes, there is an advantage to associating pleasure with that food so that the animal will look for that food in the future. In other
words the potential for addiction is hardwired into our brain. Everyone has eaten too much of their favorite food even though they knew it wasn’t good for them.

2. “Addiction is for life”

For you Big Book thumpers the word “RECOVERED” appears at least 20 times in the Big Book (http://www.164andmore.com/words/recovered.htm
https://www.recoveryfarmhouse.net/most-common-misconceptions-in-a-a/)

Addiction is a spectrum disorder, like depression, and every person is different.  While there are plenty of cases where addicts struggle for years to overcome a drug addiction,
many more cases reveal the opposite — short-term users who manage to put the past behind them
and lead normal and productive lives.   According to the National
Institute on Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse, 75% of alcoholics recover without treatment.

BEGIN LORI E. AUTHOR:

The thing is, when your a child you don’t know what trauma is.  And many addicts I have met, unless they have had therapy or were brutally abused and heinously neglected don’t always know what emotional neglect and verbal abuse look and feel like.  How would they?  They were brought up in a setting that they became accustomed to whether it was nurturing and caring or one of badgering and criticism.  Hurt people hurt people and emotional abuse and neglect (which is even harder to identify as an innocent child) is passed down from generation to generation as a learned behavior.    I just read (from theshoresrecovery.com) some staggering statistics of a recent study that included over 17,000 participants.  The findings revealed that physical abuse, verbal abuse, neglect, domestic violence, loss of a parent, or having a parent who is addicted or mentally ill greatly increased the likelihood of addiction in the individual.

So what then?  Why does the emotional disorder concept offend so many addicts especially in early recovery?  If I subscribe to the genetic theory I don’t have to take responsibility for the past.  If it’s genetic I don’t have to work on my emotional condition.  I won’t be lumped in with the bi-polar and the mentally ill.  If it’s genetic you will understand it’s not my fault.  Oh ya but then, I don’t care what you think do I?  Right, of coarse I care what you think.  Do I fear what you think?  I wouldn’t be writing this for all the world to see if I did.  But I do care, about what you think of me and my writing.  Working on our emotions is not as scary  as it sounds.  Being emotionally constipated wasn’t my fault anyway, I don’t need the genetics excuse.  No one taught me how to feel my feelings and let them flow.  They didn’t allow me to share and cry.  They taught me how to repress and shut the hell up.  They taught me to be ashamed of my emotions and who I was.  The past never leaves us it will always be a part of us but it can change.  The past can change because my perceptions and feelings have changed.  That is my story and I am sticking to it.  Love and kisses.
Sources:
http://www.164andmore.com/words/recovered.htm

Does Childhood Trauma Lead to Addiction?


http://www.cnn.com/2012/09/13/health/jaffe-addiction-myths/
The Myth of an ‘Addict Gene’
By Jeffrey Helm, The Tyee. Posted August 12, 2006.
http://www.alternet.org/drugreporter/40135/
http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/is-addiction-a-disease.htm

http://www.psmag.com/health-and-behavior/when-it-comes-to-addiction-the-dsm-5-gets-it-right-but-57203

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Suicide and Addiction The Hemingway Curse and Emotional Battle

MENTAL ILLNESS, ADDICTION AND SUICIDE ALL ROLLED INTO ONE COURAGEOUS AND CANDID DOCUMENTARY OF THE LIVES OF THE FAMOUS HEMINGWAY’S  Originally aired on April 23, 2013

Mariel Hemingway

Get the instant video or DVD of this compelling documentary only on Amazon

GET THE INSTANT VIDEO OR DVD ONLY ON AMAZON HERE

 

Mariel Hemingway opens up about suicide, molestation and her family’s curse in ‘Running from Crazy’

(More about sexual abuse and addiction at RFH )

National Suicide Prevention Hot Line

 Mariel admits she saw her father sometimes enter the girls’ bedroom when they were young and sexually abuse Muffet and Margaux. “I didn’t know what he was doing, but I knew it wasn’t right,” she says on camera, adding that she was never herself abused — though one is nevertheless left wondering if that is actually true. Further, she hypothesizes that unfortunate past as something relating to how extremely close to their father Muffet and Margaux were, while, again, Mariel seemed to be on the outside of the unit, closer to her mother than anyone else.

Amid all of this, Mariel struggles with the “Hemingway curse.” Ernest’s 1961 suicide is legendary but two of his siblings also killed themselves, as did his father. This in addition to Margaux. That curse is theorized as a suicide gene and the very potential of such a thing leaves Mariel racked with fear for her own daughters as she participates in charity work and suicide prevention initiatives.

READ MORE at Huffpost Live

SEE VIDEO CLIP OF MARIEL

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HEAVEN BY WAY OF HELL

My Own: “Orange is the new Black”

My sobriety date is April of 2006.  I got clean on Good Friday and spent Easter weekend in a small holding cell going cold turkey off numerous drugs and alcohol.

All my senses were heightened as the withdraw pains increased and I listened to the guards just outside my dark holding cell  drink, party, and play adult games.  Not long after I heard them torturing a woman in what they later refereed to as the “Black Chair”.

Needless to say the black chair had restraints.  Granted the tiny female prisoner was drunk, delusional and played her own part in the torture I heard her endure that night.    The guards used the “black chair” title as a threat to keep inmates in line.  After several weeks of recuperation that inmate was moved from medical into the women’s pod.

After my second month of sickness with painful gull bladder attacks I was sent to ‘medical’ where another women suffered from seizures in the room next to me.  Apparently seizures are a criminal infarction in the Levy County Jail.  I ‘saw’ nothing that night but what I heard was both scary and alarming.  Let’s say I lived years on the streets, in crack traps, bars, with felons but what I witnessed in that jail to me was shocking.  I couldn’t have imagined that a female nurse could be so utterly brutal.  Funny…we never saw that patient/inmate again after the night of her seizures.  All I know is I heard her hit the floor and she went silent.  Just a few feet from me with a wall between us.  She went silent as that nursed screamed brutalized her .  She kept screaming, “your faking your seizures”!  Word was she was mysteriously released even though prior to her visit to medical there was no chance of her getting bail and her court date was a long way off.

That wasn’t the first abuse I witnessed in that jail.  But that’s not what this story is about.  Idk…maybe it should be, maybe that is where it’s taking me.

Perhaps I should mention the prettier younger girls

who got to leave jail to take trips to “McDonald’s” if they were chosen by the guards.  One of  the inmates was also my friend on the outside who just happened to be younger and prettier than me.  She said the guards would not only take them to McDonalds but also get them their drug of choice on occasion for their trip to Micky D’s.  I think we all know what the girls did for the guards, and they were happy to get a McDonald’s hamburger for their pleasure.

The pod we were in consisted of about 30 inmates 15 upstairs and 15 downstairs.   We were allowed to choose the location of our own bunks.  How it usually went down was ‘if’ NO ‘when’ someone pissed us off we would grab our gear and bunk as far away from them as possible.  I ended up grabbing my gear and heading down those stairs.  We all ended up right where we were supposed to be.

One thing sure, we were on display, literally.

We had an audience called the “Screws”.  Up high straight across from the inmates second story was the guards own second story room with a huge glass window facing down on our pod.   The glass was even set at an angle so they could see everything.  They could look right down on the ladies day or night…with good intentions of coarse.  They were keeping us safe you see.  And at the same time, well lets just say as it all turned out, the ladies upstairs had much different personalities than the ladies of the downstairs levels of the pod.

The ladies upstairs kept themselves up at all hours of the night.  They were active and the guards loved it.  Apparently they knew how to put on a show.  The guards had their own big screen real-time stripper show with girl on girl pornography and it was all live.  I guess they just couldn’t resist the temptation to watch the show and buy the burgers.

The downstairs ladies used to rise in the morning and say a morning prayer together in a circle right there in jail.  We were tired of the life as addicts and criminals.

We were generally kind to one another.  There were spiritual things happening to us.  We were having a common dream about water and baptisms, pools, and rivers.  We went to church on Wednesday nights and we had AA group on  Sundays.  In between we had the library and all its recovery literature.  We were women who wanted to change.  (even if some of us did take the occasional trip to McDonald’s).  I remember that jail-house preacher told us “God is here walking the halls & working miracles.”  I believed him, somehow I just knew I was going to get my miracle.  That preacher was one judgmental, assuming son-of-a-bitch but he had some good things to say too.  We ladies were soaking up as much positive energy as we could find.

But the girls upstairs…well they hated us ladies down stairs.  My girlfriend from the outside basically couldn’t make up her mind she kept switching back and forth from upstairs to down.  She would fill me in on what was going on up top .  I considered her credible I knew her.  We were hypocrites to them.  To them we were showing pitiful weakness and they despised it.  If I had not been released when I was, well there was a women who was picking a fight with me and it was reaching a head.  She screamed at me because she was going to prison and I wasn’t.  She swore she would see me in prison and then she would have my ass.  I feel pity for her at this moment.

You know you are in recovery when you take A.A. meetings into the very jail which incarcerated you for sixty days.  Yes, for two years I walked freely in and out of that same jail.  By the Grace of God, AA and therapy with Randall Mayrovitz at Meridian Healthcare Bridge-house outpatient therapy and inpatient both I learned how to live sober.

Well they pegged a fall guy for the Levy county sex follies.  Apparently not long after I left the jailhouse Chadwick Buford Holmes was arrest.  My guess….he probably was the ONLY ONE who did not participate.  And that is why they snatched him.  But who knows.  It’s just that when the majority are engaging in corrupt activity….that’s what they do.

https://www.prisonlegalnews.org/news/2012/apr/15/state-by-state-prisoner-rape-and-sexual-abuse-round-up/

Chadwick Buford Holmes, 32, a jail guard with the Levy County Sheriff’s Office, was arrested on June 30, 2011 on a third-degree felony charge of sexual misconduct. He is accused of repeatedly having sex with a female prisoner in a bathroom, and was booked into the same jail where he is alleged to have committed the sex acts.

I was coming off Xanax, Crack, Methadone, Cigarettes, and Caffeine

Not to mention I kept having gull bladder attacks omg.  It’s a wonder I survived it.  But for the grace of God.  I finally got my day in court after two months and the judge gave me a sentence to rehab.  I got to ride to Meridian in decked out cop car with sixty days detox time under my belt.  I was well on my way to full blown recovery.

Jail saved my ass.  AA taught me coping skills and how to get sober.  Therapy taught me what to do with my emotions and helped me work through core issues.  The 12 steps are the essence of my religion.  Without my higher power I would not have survived addiction.  All good things are from the Great Spirit of Light and Life.  Tapping into that strengthens my faith.

Inside me is a good and loving dog and a fearful and criminal dog which ever one I feed the most will become stronger.  Lately I have been tempted to shop-lift.  Time to feed the good dog.  But one thing for sure while I am alive, I will be human.  The human condition is by default corruptible.  The program works as long as I make the choice and take the action to work it.  But without the outside help I would be screwed.

By Laura Edgar

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