And I thought it was just the addicts cross to bear.
Why Dale K Re-wrote The First 164 Pages of The Big Book
Why on Earth did Dale K think he had the right to change our treasured Big Book?
Some background info. Who is AAAgnostica and Tom B?
Read original aaagnostica article here
The AAAgnostica site advocates the book “Secular Sobriety” by Dale K which is a rewrite of the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book text. aaagnostica.org and writer Tom B. are an open minded, free-thinking organization geared toward alcoholics Anonymous. They impress on us the fundamentals of a godless recovery for those who need it. (Tom B always uses a small “g”) The website’s “about” page states this: “When we use the word “agnostic” in relation to AA – or words like “atheist” or “freethinker” – we are simply referring to the specific wisdom of groups and individuals within the fellowship who understand that belief in a “God” (of any understanding) is not a necessary part of recovery from alcoholism. They advocate freedom of choice where religion and spirituality are concerned and admonish religious dogma and social prejudice that lives in the rooms of AA. Here is their email if you wish to contact them. Thomas B writes most of the articles on the site and wrote one promoting the book “Secular Sobriety”.
Continue reading “Why Dale K Re-wrote The First 164 Pages of The Big Book”
We’re All Here for the Very Same Reason
AA Can you help me unravel my latest mistake? Damn right we can.
“You’re a little late..I’m already torn, torn.”
It is progress to realize one is emotionally torn. This is the first step in emotional healing. Emotions, Body, and spirit in us are as one….We need not label our emotions “bad” or “weak” but rather embrace them as part of us. Take up the defensive angry screaming ego known as the “committee” and nurture that part of ourselves with Love, comfort, and assurance. During step eleven meditations I can reassure that part of me which is defensively reactionary when fear is triggered.
My “addict” (persay) wears a stone cold armor of defense and blame so I
A Note to my Alcoholics Anonymous Family
Alcoholics Anonymous Family,
There is so much in this world to fear. The more research I do on the condition of the Earth, food, pollution, radiation, food additives, toxins, malnutrition due to processed foods the more I am learning about THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS in 2017. So I regroup & choose faith and hope to kwell the horrible uncertainties of the future. My HP has got my back. And I know the tools that bring me back to the safety of “NOW”. Writing is one of my tools. So with all the dangers around me I moved myself on to the solutions just like my favorite AA cliche’ states; “Out of the problem into the solution”. And my 2nd fav. “Move a muscle change a thought”. 3rd “the program works”.
Recovery from Addiction
Jails, Institutions, and Near Death
Spring of 2006 I spent 2 months in jail getting sober for the last time. I spent my time locked up reading the Bible, The Big Book, writing ‘Paradise for the Hellbound’, and praying that the judge would sentence me to Bridgehouse. Bridgehouse (B.H.) is a rehab center owned by Meridian Behavioral Healthcare. I had been on the Methadone program there and I sent letters to my doctor to get me into rehab from jail. He was all for it. He himself later landed in rehab. Come to find out the doc was dipping into his own meds .How convenient.
On June 15th 2006 I got transported to B.H. by a Levy County Sheriff to begin my 28-day stay. Twenty-eight days…… twenty-eight days …. (reminiscent sigh). In the spring of 2006 28 days seemed like a very long time. The days were long and the nights were even longer. I had been in my addiction for nearly 35 years.
Dr. Bob’s Last Major Talk
Click here to read Dr. Bob’s Last Major Talk
Commentary of controversy:
Dr. Bob exhibits a degree of insecurity about staying sober in the essay below. Dr. Bob mentions that when he thinks about having a drink (at 13 years sober) he knows what to do, he goes to see the boys in detox.
Yes an ego based sense of security in recovery can be a dangerous road to relapse no matter how long we have been sober. Sobriety time is not what keeps us sober. But there is a thing called healthy security based and grounded in 12 step work, a relationship with God and the knowledge the program works.
Seems to me there are quite a few addicts who don’t know the difference between ego false pride the dangerous kind and healthy self confidence. Seems some addicts think they have to exhibit false humility to stay sober. We in AA routinely socially punch holes in our overall worth in spite of our child of God status.
So what? If I finally learn/build some self esteem from doing the 12 step work I now need to negate it with false humility? If we know the program works, and we have a choice then why would our sobriety be built on thin ice? And why would me announcing my thin ice foundation be anything more than a public exhibit of false humility.
Typical statements by people with years sober: “I am no more secure than someone who just walked in AA and knows absolutely nothing about staying sober”, or “I am an arms length from the next drink just like the gutter drunk who doesn’t know the 12 steps”. When does years of sobriety and knowledge become self confidence? Seriously it’s not insecurity or fear that keeps us sober. It’s not downgrading our recovery that keeps us sober.
Watch What You Say Online The Governments have a List of Trigger Words
They have a list of trigger words and the computers to search for them. Big brother can scan the posts and comments of every social media site online. What in the hell are they really looking for? This doesn’t seem to be the tactics of a freedom advocating government. Does free speech still exist?
See all the entire list of words you need to avoid online just to feel safe from wrongful attention by some possible over-zealous men in black suites driving black SUV’s.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2150281/REVEALED-Hundreds-words-avoid-using-online-dont-want-government-spying-you.html Oh boy! They might get bored if they follow my web surfing. Or they will learn to eat organic.
The Heart of a Maneater the “Bad Little Girl”!
THE HEART OF A MANEATER. By Laura Edgar
By the dime store psychologist. If you came from FB Friends of Bill and Bob scroll past videos to continue reading. I copied that post starting at “Introducing the Maneater” below.
Low self image is at he core of most active addicts hearts. The ego picks up where a broken identity drops the ball.
Did the Primary teaching voice of your formative years often sound like this? (granted most people don’t remember until they spend years in therapy, meditation, and prayer coupled with self-awareness exercises.)
“You’re a Bad little girl/boy! How could you do such a thing, again? Don’t do that, don’t act like that, don’t be like that and don’t feel like that! You’re wrong, wrong, wrong everything that comes from your little heart is wrong”. And then here’s the worst quote of all folks: “You shouldn’t FEEL that way! Your feelings are wrong! Your ideas are stupid and you should be ashamed of yourself. Don’t cry! Cry baby! That’s nothing to cry about! That’s nothing to be afraid of! Chicken shit…scaredy cat..and worse. We are programmed to hide our fears, weaknesses, and hearts truths.
Continue reading “The Heart of a Maneater the “Bad Little Girl”!”
Spirituality Is Like Swimming
Spirituality is like swimming I explained to my sister Brenda. You dip your soul, spirit, and body into the presence of God and you swim in joyous distractions from every negative reality that once brought you low. You feel good. For me a burden was lifted and black cloud on my soul, removed. After my spiritual experience the joy and peace that only the supernatural can provide blanketed me. My choices are different than they used to be. I have never been the same…thank God! I love humans again or…maybe for the first time I love other women. I was unaffected by negativity because my perception was one of spiritual insight. I saw the good in all things. Continue reading “Spirituality Is Like Swimming”
Organic Marijuana and Spirituality
Organic High Grade Marijuana and Spirituality
What’s the Link? (article written by Brenda Lane) Pertaining to addiction recovery.
The prospect of a spiritual tool like pot to help enable a spiritual experience of awakening isn’t something we should do often. It’s kindred to going into the mountains, taking peyote, and facing your demons. If your used to high grade pot it will not work. If you smoke pot recreationally it will not work because your too used to it.
First Protection
I don’t advise meditation without the covering of Jesus. Furthermore I don’t even advise smoking pot without the covering of Jesus. I meditate in Christ covered by His sacred blood that He shed on the Cross, and by His Spirit. Why? I would not feel safe seeking the spirit realm without spiritual protection. It’s not wise at all.
2. But isn’t meditation evil according to Christians?
“And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming.”
Yes Christians on the most part think meditation and even the sacred crystals written of in the Bible are evil. Satan has done his job well convincing us to only talk and never LISTEN to God. Training your mind to listen to God is what meditation is about in my book.
Moreover how is getting quiet and seeking a closer relationship with God evil? How is using the Lords prayer as a mantra and envisioning it word for word evil? The reason to do this is to train our minds to think on one thought and not stray. Once we have succeeded with this we can empty our minds. Is that also evil? And all this should be done (if you are a Christian) to seek Jesus, have self revelation of our fears, hurts, shame, and improve our godly walk.
If pot was or is your drug of choice, or if you see it as a chronic and addictive solution to fear and your emotional condition then pot meditation does not apply to you. If you believe addiction is about the substance rather than a person’s heart and mind then this article does not apply to you and won’t make sense. Clearly there are people whom pot simply didn’t work for in their addiction. These are the very people who can benefit most from an occasional organic high grade Marijuana meditation session.
Continue reading “Organic Marijuana and Spirituality”
What is Addiction Really?
What is Addiction Really?
We do not have to know “why” we became addicts to recover. If our brains are still prone to obsession it’s understandable that our sponsors suggest to us “don’t ask why”. For the sake of peace in the first few years we should both “choose our battle’s” wisely and choose our purposes and goals wisely. “Out of the problem into the solution” is by far one of my most valuable mantras for recovery.
However moving on into a more mature lifestyle I am discovering my truths and who I am. If I question nothing and never ask “why” I shut myself out to both knowledge and learning. This flipside of the “why ask why” coin is both dangerous and lacks depth. A lack of learning is akin to a stagnant mind and stunted emotional growth. My mind should have moved on into sanity at some point. If I work the steps and get some good therapy.
First let me tell you this. I have had long periods of sobriety then relapsed. My last sober run beginning in 2006 and still going strong. Oddly the topic of addiction interests me thoroughly even today after years of sobriety.
So what is addiction really? Is it cunning, baffling and powerful? At some point we can all agree that “yes” it is. What does the Big Book tell us? It’s insidious, progressive, deadly, destructive and a spiritual sickness or malady of sorts. Some says it’s inherited and genetic. Some say it grounded in our environment.
“From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.” Big Book fourth step.
There’s that contradiction again “spiritually and sick”. Spirituality is in some ways a replacement drug for addiction.
Continue reading “What is Addiction Really?”
Bill W’s Article in the Grapevine
From the article posted on silkworth.net
The Next Frontier: Emotional Sobriety
by Bill Wilson
Copyright © AA Grapevine, Inc, January 1958
(Also see: A Letter From Bill W. on Depression, from the memoirs of Tom Pike, an early California AA member, which is strikingly similar to this AA Grapevine Article, “The Next Frontier: Emotional Sobriety.”)
Genesis Chapter 6
Genesis 6 :: King James Version (KJV)
¶
And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them,
That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.
¶
And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.
There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.
¶
And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.
And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.
But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD.
¶
These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God.
And Noah begat three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence.
And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.
And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.
Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.
And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.
A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it.
And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die.
But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons’ wives with thee.
And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female.
Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive.
And take thou unto thee of all food that is eaten, and thou shalt gather it to thee; and it shall be for food for thee, and for them.
Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he.
Anonymous Outcry: “Meditate and Become Self Aware”
Meditate and become self aware so you are no longer manipulated by the elite. This is the step eleven suggestion put forth by both the Anonymous (wake up call) organization and Alcoholics Anonymous known as Step Eleven suggestion of frequent prayer and meditation as a tool to stay sane and sober.
Meditation works wonder of this I can attest. It will both enlighten and fulfill parts of us we didn’t know were empty. And even better it will help us expel ur demons. See link on “how to meditate”
Apparently the Anonymous organization whoever they are (watch video CLICK HERE TO WATCH VIDEO) knows one of the many benefits of practicing meditation. To become self aware is to become armed with many good characteristics that do allot more than just help a person stay sober. Meditation will also show you the “why” behind your addiction, journaling, prayer, and meditation combined with the rest of the 12 steps will arm you with truth, enlightenment, and epiphanies about many things. Interesting that the Anonymous speaker mentions that, “a few thousand years ago we humans were all primal with little intelligence”. Some folks believe this theory, that our race mated with higher intelligence aliens so we could become a race better serving their species. Basically we were too ape-like to be of any use to these aliens so they bread intelligence into us.
Another interesting tid bit is the old Testament scripture that lines up with such a theory. However the Bible
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called the aliens “sons of God”. And that these sons of God breat with the daughters of man. ” when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.” Gen 6:4. Basically picturing a higher intelligent being having sex with a lower intelligence but apparently “hot looking” woman to populate the earth with smarter creatures capable of understanding certain jobs these aliens presented to us. Who were these “sons of God”? Where the “angels” like the preachers say? Hmm more will be revealed I suppose.
Click picture of the hooded man to watch video in next page.
Meditation article
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Bill Wilson’s White Light Experience
In December of 1934 Bill Wilson was in Towns Hospital off Central Park in NYC for what would be his last detoxification. During this hospitalization Bill had a dramatic “spiritual experience.” Bill describes this dramatic experience in his history of A.A. (1957, p.63):
“My depression deepened unbearably and finally it seemed to me as though I were at the bottom of the pit. I still gagged badly on the notion of a Power greater than myself, but finally, just for the moment, the last vestige of my proud obstinacy was crushed. All at once I found myself crying out, ‘If there is a God, let Him show Himself! I am ready to do anything, anything!’
Suddenly the room lit up with a great white light. I was caught up into an ecstasy which there are no words to describe. It seemed to me, in my mind’s eye, that I was on a mountain and that a wind not of air but of spirit was blowing. And then it burst upon me that I was a free man. Slowly the ecstasy subsided. I lay on the bed, but now for a time I was in another world, a new world of consciousness. All about me and through me there was a wonderful feeling of Presence, and I thought to myself, ‘So this is the God of the preachers!’ A great peace stole over me and I thought, ‘No matter how wrong things seem to be, they are still all right. Things are all right with God and His world.”
Bill W.’s Spiritual Experience from Language of the heart pg. 275
In “Language of the Heart” Bill W. writes again about his white light experience at the Towns Hospital. Continue reading “Bill Wilson’s White Light Experience”