Recovery from Grave Emotional Disorder

THERE IS A GOD AND I’M NOT IT!

WE DO NOT HAVE TO STAY IN DENIAL ABOUT OUR DEFECTS OF CHARACTER, WE DO NOT TAKE INVENTORY TO BEAT OURSELVES UP.  WE DEVELOPED OUR CHARACTER DEFECTS AS AN INSTINCT TO SURVIVE EMOTIONALLY.   WE NOW HAVE THE TOOLS TO CHANGE…BUT FEW CHANGES WILL COME WITHOUT COURAGEOUS SELF-APPRAISAL.

Most parents don’t have any idea what emotional nurturing is.  First instinct when we hear this parental blight is to protect the pack.  The pack are usually the very people (family) who inadvertently taught us to shut down who we really are.  Grave emotional disorder is at the core of addictive personalities.  “Grave disorder(How it Works)” is basically constipated and stifled emotions.  We addicts often  learned how not to cry and how not to share our heart.  We learned to wear a mask and hide who we are so we wouldn’t get hurt.  So we thought.  If your emotions are healthy and happy then why in the hell did you try to drink and drug yourself to death?  Come on now.  Oh right you did it because of an innate gene pool.   Well then for you there could be no cure.  But for those of us who have learned a twisted set of emotional responses and survival tactics.  We can unlearn them.  You can’t swim your way out of a gene pool.

We in AA have identified an array of character defects that are the culprits of our addictive patterns. Among these are the inclination to control everyone and everything around us. Some of us are painfully controlling while others are more passive-aggressive with their scheming. Our defects cause friends and family to run from us like we are ravenous wolves.
Some of us have learned to use other people’s control defect to our advantage. We can passively control others by handing over a certain amount of our own power to them.
Ah yes how we can puff up a gentlemen’s ego by asking him to make our choices for us. Handing over our decision making is a perfect way for a damsel to relinquish responsibility for any consequences of that decision. At the same time, it makes our Knight in shining armor feel so powerful and smart that he is more than willing to help us. The problem is the Knight is weaving his own manipulation, there are many invisible strings attached to his assistance.
When we snatch our power back and the knight inevitably becomes disturbed we will just label him possessive and take out a restraining order. Yikes! Don’t try this at home!
The damsel and the gentlemen is just one example of controlling behavior. We have all seen those who are painfully controlling, they are the one’s running around like directors on a movie screen. When the movie doesn’t play out like they want it to, they promptly fall apart or get very angry and spin around a bit screaming and yelling. Take controlism up another notch and you have obsessive compulsive disorder.
The fact is if resentment is rearing its ugly head you can bet there is a fear at the heart of it. (Pg.417 BB) Getting in touch with one’s own “God syndrome” is important during a fourth step. Once we have established the identity of our controlling side we can use that knowledge in all our tenth steps. Contrary to popular portrayal in The Rooms resentments do crop up and it doesn’t mean we are not “working a program”. People can be ass-holes and they are going to piss us off. Getting a resentment lets us know we are still [feeling] and still sober. Holding on to resentment is dangerous and can result in misery if not checked.
Finding the part of us who wants to play god doesn’t happen for everybody. Some sober people just never get it…the blame game worked for them for so long they are just incapable of trying a healthy solution. You will find them engaging in numerous sick relationships with train wreck break-ups that are never their fault.
The steps are in order for a reason meaning the third step must be done before a fourth will have that supernatural kick. With God’s help the revelation of self will happen during our fourth step.
If we realize our resentments are rooted in wanting to control other adults and the fear that accompanies a of lack of power pg. 45 Big Book then join the club, but consider yourself blessed you already know yourself better than many

Oprah The Magic of Gratitude

Please click the picture to see the precious video.
Gratitude Louis Schwartzberg

Oprah sits down with award-winning filmmaker Louie Schwartzberg to discuss his time-lapse nature photography and the inherent spirituality revealed through nature. Louie, whose TED talk on gratitude has been viewed more than 6 million times, captures breathtaking images on film that are often unseen by the naked eye and that celebrate the gift of life.

As Oprah and Louie view some of his most magnificent work, they discuss how nature can act as one of our greatest spiritual teachers. A firm believer that beauty is nature’s tool for survival, Louie also shares how the awe of seeing nature can make one more present and mindful and can help us connect to our inner voice. By allowing viewers to see that which can’t be seen, Louie hopes to cultivate gratitude and an awareness that nature is a reflection of the human experience.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Oprah-and-Louie-Schwartzberg-The-World-Beyond-What-We-Can-See#ixzz42FYkPj00

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Father Martin-Gratitude

Gratitude “The Queen of the virtues”

“Gratitude is the only coin by which man can buy God.  The most appropriate depiction of addiction is soul sickness.”  Denial is a prostitution of the soul.”  “You cannot trample on your conscious without pain.”  He tells a joke.  WOW THIS MAN CAN PREACH AA!

Published on Dec 17, 2012
Father Martin speaks about “Gratitude” in this video in such an effective way. Allow someone to view this with you so that they can get the information that they need especially if they are in need of support.
“Fair Use” Section 107 through 118 of the copyright law title 17 U.S. Code for educational purposes

Published on Dec 18, 2012
Sharing such treasures like this is important. In this video Father Martin speaks about the importance of “Forgiveness” in the “Recovery” process. Hope that you get something out of watching this like thousands of other people in recovery has.

How To Become Who You Really Are

Get To Work!  We are all programmed to become who the system wants us to be.  But first demoralization at heart level must take place in the child.

Then the other programs can be uploaded to your brain.  You can deprogram.  The TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.  BUT DO YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO ACCEPT TRUTH?  Can you embrace FEAR?  SHAME?  GUILT?  Some people cannot and will NEVER admit fear.  And for all I know they believe their own denial of fear.  Please also read fear articles on this site.  Fear processing is vital to knowing ourselves.

Building Self-Worth takes time and work.  But it is a priceless result when we become who we were really meant to be.  We Become who our heart screams and claws inside us to be.

The educational & beast’s media system teaches us one thing primarily…that we are inferior to others.  The emotional knee jerk to that is DENIAL, hide it away by ego.  Hence a country full of people running in DEFENSE MODE.

TV teaches us one thing primarily, the program foundation to all the other programs we get downloaded with “I AM BAD & WRONG”.  Hence a broken heart and low self worth==solution==become someone else.

Work the steps.  In the fourth step expose all fears, shame, guilt, blood guilt, secrets, feelings that you can see and feel at the time. If you have a recurring memory that is accompanied by a feeling it likely is attached to an even that needs processing.

What is “processing” emotional processing is to get out repressed feelings by crying, screaming, writing, sharing, moaning, groaning, etc. while thoroughly remembering the traumatic events.

Do an autobiography by writing your life story of the highlight in your memories.   When writing the biography or auto biography (sorry I forget which word is correct) process every uncomfortable feeling.

DO YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOURSELF?  BECAUSE, MAKE NO MISTAKE, EVERY BIT OF PROGRAMMING YOU HAVE ENOUNTERED FOR A LIFETIME HAS BEEN TO BURY THAT VERY INFORMATION OF WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

See we all have to go back to beginning and relive every event in memory to find out how we were really formed emotionally and mentally.  Then we must process all the “negative” emotions you were taught to bury of you expect to see clearly.

I say work the 12 steps and work them honestly as if your life depended on it.  God wants people before Him who know who they are.  How else will you go before God in Truth?  Prayer must be employed at every turn of your self discovery.  There are all kinds of helps on this website ALL of them having to do with self discovery and how to reach your own singularity.

To chair meetings will build self confidence.  After a year in you should start doing speaker meetings to build more self confidence.  Or perhaps you have not been beat down by the beast system like the rest of us.  We are programmed to demoralize one another at every turn by movies, shows, TV etc while being demoralized constantly.

Get group therapy as well.

Do step eleven religiously.  Meditation in Jesus or your own Higher Power whoever you call Him by.  Jesus answered my cries and helped me alot and still does.  Without God none of this reprogramming will take.  Pray every step of the way to your awakening.  Checkout also https://recoveryfarmhouse.com my earlier website.

Join a home group and open-up to the group.  You have to be a friend to make a friend.  Show vulnerability. (true feelings) Express your fears.  The truth WILL set you free. (don’t incriminate yourself legally) Share “what happened and how it made you feel.)  Get phone numbers of same sex members.  Call them and check in.  Get a sponsor.

Chair meetings, bring meetings into jails and institutions, go to detox to share your story with others.  Get in the middle of the boat, per-say.”  Set goals to accomplish that are fulfilling to you.  Work the 12 steps with all your heart, leave nothing uncovered where shame can get a strong-hold. 

Addiction “cunning baffling and powerful” they say.  Well it’s no longer baffling. Make no mistake you were programmed to become an addict or alcoholic.  I know I was.

Shame is at the core; it drives us to isolate and puts us humans on the defensive.  Put one foot in front of the other.  Do Step Eleven and don’t stop doing it.  Years pass quickly.  I challenge you and myself to meditate 4 times a week and see where that gets us.  So what I am suggesting here should supply both inner fulfillment and enlightenment. 

If we lie still, chant a mantra of our choice.  The demons (metaphor) will leave, they hate when we lie still and focus on finding our Higher Power. Or IT/HE/SHE finding us. 

Meetings every day or two a day.

Dope-Fiend Thief Caught on Camera (video clip)

Most addicts in recovery have done things they are ashamed of. That is one reason a step four is so important. The Twelve Steps are priceless for the addict who wants to recovery from a tainted past.

This fine gentleman thought it would be ok to take our front porch furniture this morning. If you happen to see him, or know of him, please pass on a hearty "thanks a lot DIRTBAG" from me and mine and then alert the Jacksonville police.

Posted by Kristi Houlberg on Saturday, February 13, 2016

Glen Frye “Take it Easy” Rule 62

“Take it easy, don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy. Lighten up while you still can don’t even try to understand, just find A place and make your stand and take it easy yee ha!” This line has helped me lighten up on myself many times. It is basically saying the same thing to me as the unwritten rule 62 in AA “don’t take yourself so damn seriously!” I gotta say I have never ever cried over the loss of someone I didn’t know personally. But I am crying now. Listen to the song “Take it Easy” and “Hotel California” now.
CLICK TO SEE/HEAR “TAKE IT EASY”

glenn snip

CLICK TO HEAR “HOTEL CALIFORNIA” Hotel California Glenn Frye (front right guitarist), Don Henley, Joe Walsh and the gang.
Glenn snip2

Glenn Frey

One of the founding members of the Eagles, Glenn Frey, died today in New York City, his family and bandmates announced on the band’s website.

He was 67.

According to the statement from his loved ones and colleagues, Frey’s death was caused by complications from rheumatoid arthritis, acute ulcerative colitis and pneumonia.

“The Frey family would like to thank everyone who joined Glenn to fight this fight and hoped and prayed for his recovery,” read a statement on the Eagles’ website. “Words can neither describe our sorrow nor our love and respect for all that he has given to us, his family, the music community and millions of fans worldwide.”

A Detroit native, Frey met Don Henley when they were in their 20s and new to the music business. Soon after, they formed the Eagles with Randy Meisner and Bernie Leadon, quickly becoming one of the most popular rock bands of all time, with hits including “Take It Easy,” “Desperado,” and “Hotel California.” (Meisner was replaced by Timothy B. Schmit in 1977 and Joe Walsh took over for Leadon in 1975.) ABC NEWS click here to read entire article abc.com

SANDY BEACH-Everything is perception

SANDY BEACH CLICK THE PIC TO HEAR THE AUDIO “DROP THE ROCK”

There’s a great article in the Tampa Times about his life and legacy.  read the Tampa Times article here

THE DEATH OF RICHARD JOHN BEACH

An Alcoholics Anonymous member Randy M. brought Sandy to his last meeting on Sunday night at 7:30 pm. The two were attending their meeting at Palma Ceia Presbyterian Church. The meeting was supposed to have a speaker discuss a step. While Randy went to grab some black coffee for the man, Sandy waited, perhaps looking tired. “I asked him if he was okay,” Randy explained Sandy’s last words. “He looked at me and said, ‘Thanks for bringing me to the meeting, buddy.’” Randy went to grab the man some black coffee and came back hearing his friend abruptly fell forward onto page 23 of the Alcoholics Anonymous literature, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, which ironically just so happened to discuss the first step – the most meaningful one to Sandy. As sad as the man’s death may be, Sandy lived a long life with an inspiring message sent about the gifts that sobriety can bring when you are honesty, open-minded, and willing to recover.

12 Steps of AA with Father Martin “CHALK TALK”

12 Steps of AA with Father Martin
CHALK TALK WE CALL FATHER MARTIN’S TEACHINGS IN AA
“Bill Wilson was the man who dreamed the impossible dream till he reached the unreachable star!” Beautiful quote!

SKIP COMMENTARY GO STRAIGHT TO VIDEO

Go to video and skip commentary!

If you are one of those people who automatically agree with everything any and all A.A. Guru’s say you won’t like my commentary on this video. Take what you need and leave the rest but please don’t white-wash or blind yourself to anybody’s rhetoric as if they were perfect or a God. We are all human and all make mistakes. We all occasionally engage in a little verbal error.

THE ALCOHOLIC AND HIS INFERIORITY COMPLEX

Father Martin says (paraphrased) “psychologists say, [you are alcoholic because you have an inferiority complex], his answer to that theory is, “maybe I have an inferiority complex because I AM inferior.” Hmm well I don’t believe that, not for a minute, I believe we are all equal, he is oversimplifying a profound truth about the alcoholic including himself. Maybe he is incapable of addressing his own inferiority complex. Step 12 builds the self esteem that is needed to walk in equality with our fellow man.

 

Step One “In weakness we are made strong” New International Version 2nd Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

INSANITY

The Priest says that Bill W. stated what the insanity of the disease is and described it as this. “When the alki is completely physically sober and yet picks up the drink of alcohol that is killing him that is insane.” Emotions, the priest says are dominating the alcoholic rather than intellect when he does this. This ideal is perfectly in line with my own theory that grave emotional disorder IS the WHY behind addiction. Furthermore that theory is why and how addiction can be cured. He says don’t use

STEP FIVE

“Admitted to God, ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs”                                                                                                                                                                                     He says Step Five is vital and a once in a lifetime job. Well I agree it’s vital but “once in a lifetime”,I question that. Obviously if I go out and murder a man I will need to do another fifth step for certain. How in the hell could a priest of all things not see that? That is baffling. Step Five should be a prescription that says “as needed” on the package. (i.m.o)

The Priest began a reference toward the human aspect of step five. “Admitted to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs”. He goes on to say with a hint of disgust in his voice “step five is the most humiliating thing that can happen to anybody>” WOW! If that is the way people really feeling about confessing their shameful misdeeds to another human being it’s no wonder so few people that cast a shadow in the doorway of A.A. actually do all 12 steps. I have had many many sponsees who have no problem doing steps one through three. But when they get to step four…they bolt. In ten years I have one sponsee who is still sober and did all twelve steps. I don’t blame myself.

“BILL WILSON’S BEST SLOGAN ACCORING TO FATHER MARTIN, IS” “THE GOOD IS OFTEN THE ENEMY OF THE BEST”  Interestingly enough I wrote an article on that slogan/topic back in June of 2014.

STEP 12

The Father Martin call step 12 a command.  Not a suggestion, not a request, but a command.  Interesting.  And finally he tells us that Bill W. wrote the steps for the first time with the word “God” in place of “Higher Power” but he realized that he had to change the title of the entity because people were just too afraid of the prospect of a relationship with “God” .

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