Spirit Guides & Step Eleven

Step Eleven and Spirit Guides

Are Spirit Guides good or bad?

“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscience contact with God as we understood Him.  Praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

If we meditate regularly we will progress spiritually and emotionally.  Meditation is a way to get to know ourselves at a much deeper level.  It also helps us improve our relationship with God.  And if we keep it up we will most likely have visions, revelations, and enlightenment.  There is also a good chance we will meet our fellowship in another realm (dimension).

Why do certain religious sects believe if you meditate and see your Spirit Guides then you are deceived by Satan.  And that all guides are evil.  Why wouldn’t God give us blessed entities to help us?  Why is it so hard to believe in other good Spirits besides Jesus, God, Angels, Satan, and demons?  The only thing I can figure out is closed mindedness, dogma, and teachings that have been passed from generations to generations which dictate Spirit guides are evil.  But the Bible says even we will do miracle’s.  Even Jesus said “the miracles I do you will do also and even more”.

John: 14:12
“Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the WORKS that I do he will do also; and GREATER WORKS than these he will do, because I go to My Father.”

The Jewish leaders told Jesus he was working for Satan when he cast out demons and this is what he said.

Mathew 12

“And knowing their thoughts Jesus said to them,  Any kingdom divided against itself is laid waste; and any city or house divided against itself will not stand. 26 If Satan casts out Satan, he is divided against himself; how then will his kingdom stand?”

So if my Spirit Guides teach me the 12 Principles, Love, peace, and goodwill how is that evil?  My counselor says that those who preach against Spirit Guides are just scared of us going to Hell.  Well maybe.

Here’s a link to a more positive description of Spirit Guides.

Paradise for the Hellbound contains stories of my supernatural dreams, visions, white light experiences and more.  Including the Baptism of the Holy Spirit.

 

Many Christians have been taught to fear Satan and to see him in every supernatural occurrence  in life. For many religious folks it’s easier to believe a miracle of Satan than a miracle of God.  Many Bible Christians don’t believe in the gifts of healing, tongues, deliverance, prophecies, or even resurrection, and reincarnation.   To the dogmatic and fearful all miracles are of Satan or not at all.  All this belief in spite of what the Bible says:

But here is their own Bible telling them of both good Spirits of God and bad spirits.

First John 4:1

 “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God;”

Hebrews Chapter 12 Is written about the difference between the old and new covenants.  From the Ten Commandments and a story of punishment and sin to the gospel of Jesus and the precepts of Love.  The law of Moses and the Ten commandments represented by Mount Sinai to the story of forgiveness and salvation represented by Mount Zion (Sion).

 

22 But ye are come unto mount Sion, and unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to an innumerable company of angels,

23 To the general assembly and church of the firstborn, which are written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect,

24 And to Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling, that speaketh better things than that of Abel.”

Here’s a link to a typical Christian website and typical attitude toward the prospect of Spirit Guides.

So what then is the Bible talking about when it mentions “Spirits of just men made perfect”?  Many Christians do not realize that once we pass away we will still have jobs to do.  Granted I suppose some people will just retire into a life of paradise and complacency…but I doubt that everyone will; otherwise how would The Kingdom of God progress lest we do a little more work?  Being a Spirit Guide to a struggling human could be a job many of us would be quite good at.

AA and step three-Turned our will and our life over to the care of God.

Hope To The Suffering Addict

WHAT IT WAS LIKE

I know what it’s like to be torn in two.  Half of me desperately wanting to be sober and clean.  The other half tearing at me convinced that I am a slave to drugs and that I have no choice in the matter…I must use.  In this case it might have been better to have NO CONSCIENCE WHAT SO EVER.  But I could not tear the very heart of me out and replace it with a sober emotionally balanced and spiritually grounded heart.

I was squittled.  It seemed there was nothing I could do.  I was a slave to crack, methadone, morphine, cigarettes, alcohol and an emotional & mental mess I might add.  Denial was the closest thing to peace of mind that I had.  But denial was the counterfeit of Peace.

WHAT HAPPENED

On good Friday 2006 I was walking on the sidewalk when I got stopped by a cop.  I was in a county called “GilChrist”.  I had no idea it was Good Friday until the cop threw me in jail because of warrants.  Warrants I was also unaware of.  I was lost.  I screamed at the cop all the way to jail.

As I sat in the holding cell I prayed to God; “please lesson the withdraw symptoms”  The withdraw wasn’t nearly as bad as it should have been.  After about two weeks in jail my decrepit mind began to realize what I had done with my life.   The guilt in me for neglecting my nine year old daughter still eats at my heart.  Even after doing a step nine with her and all the rest of the steps.

I don’t know if a mother’s brand of guilt ever really goes away totally.  If I had a million dollars I would buy her the world to make up for my horrible horrible behavior.  Even though my crack days were limited to about a year on and off.  If was the second worst drug of them all. I was unavailable and when I did have my daughter I exposed her my addiction.   Clearly injecting Cocaine was the most horrific drug abuse.  It left me a basket case of panic attacks and shadows of experiencing the deepest fear you can ever imagine.  Those days ended in my twenties, way before I had my daughter.        I could not keep that up.  It’s a whole other story for another day.

In Jail

My head cleared up.  I prayed allot.  I remembered the first time I had gotten sober for a very long time due to a spiritual experience.  I had sought God in a little Baptist church in the meadow.  The pasture was a sweet old man.  There was also a minister woman.  She put her hand on my chest where all my pain lived as I was leaving the Sunday morning service.  She said; “God has something for you, come to the evening service”.  And so I did, and I received prayer and the laying on of hands from five or six Christian believers.

I recieved the Holy Spirit that night.  The story is in my book “Paradise for the Hellbound”    I spent a year as a student with that women Sister Petty.  She taught me allot.    There is also an article about my overdose here which lead me to seek God. .

Back to 2006

Between my first spiritual experience back in 1989 and my second stay in rehab, in 2006 and Alcoholics Anonymous I was finally able to release most of my fear and pain.  But I spent a year in therapy.  The right therapy.  It also changed me for the better.  Honestly one touch from God made me a different person.  Morally I was changed for ever.  Seek God my friend.  Seek with every fiber of your being.  God out into the world and follow your heart.  God to the church that draws you in.  And it will if you listen to the still small voice.  GOD DELIVERS HIS CHILDREN FROM BONDAGE ALL THE TIME WE JUST HAVE TO SEEK HIM.  SAY JESUS’ NAME ALOUD AND GIVE THANKS OVER AND OVER.. I found that the laying on of hands in prayer is magical.  Working the 12 steps is miraculous as well but in a different way.  Every addict should go to therapy for at least a year in my opinion.  When they get sober I mean.

WHAT IT’S LIKE NOW

When I got out of two months in jail and thirty days of rehab I began my knew life.  I raised my daughter in loving environment for the next eight years till she grew up and moved out.  I made amends.  I took meetings into the very jail I got sober in.  I shared my experience strength and hope with the women for two years straight before I got service burn out.  I started a successful business.  I wrote a book and published it.  I have been in a good relationship for ten years.  I have been sober nearly ten years also.  I have been healed by writing, sharing, prayer, meditation, telling my story, chairing meetings, doing step four and five over and over.  I love my life for the first time ever.

But without Jesus, God, I am hopeless.  Call your God by any name.  Names are not important but seeking is.  And seeking is done by the heart and the footwork.

 

 

Who are you buying Your Big Book from?

The Big Book is in the public domain.  Therefore when Amazon sells it Amazon gets the money not World Services.

After much study and research I have concluded this article I found online is the best one on the topic of The Big Book, it’s profits, and it’s copyright laws.  Editions One & Two are in the public domain.  That’s why Amazon and other book manufacturers are selling it at full profit.  Meaning AA gets nothing from the sales.  There are a few theories as to why AA failed to renew it’s copyrights.  Read the article.

Is the Big Book Shrinking?
By Meg Williams 07/09/13
The Big Book remains the place to find AA’s program of recovery. But thanks to competing publishers and free apps, literature revenues are falling. Is there anything World Services can do?
p56-57.jpg
Will AA’s publishing revenues soon become small beer? Photo via
When the 63rd General Service Conference of Alcoholics Anonymous met this April, the delegates representing AA groups from the US and Canada passed a motion to allow AA World Services (AAWS) to “use commissioned online stores to sell and distribute digital AA literature.”

AA literature is already widely available on the web. This includes the AA website’s links to the current edition of Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. But other vendors also publish editions of the Big Book online, downloadable for free or for a nominal charge. At this point, AAWS has already lost considerable business to these other publishers. Many would ask, “Why is AA allowing this?” The answer: AA has no legal recourse to stop it.

Individual AA members must choose whom to pay for the Big Book, if they choose to pay at all.
The first edition of Alcoholics Anonymous has been public domain since 1967, when AA failed to renew its copyright on the text. AA also failed to renew the copyright on the second edition, causing it to lapse in 1983. In both cases, most sources say that AAWS failed to act simply because of a lack of understanding of the applicable copyright laws.

Of course, other theories have been proposed. Some suggest that AA let the copyright lapse to dodge any liability resulting from the fact that Bill Wilson claimed he was the only author at the time the Big Book was first copyrighted. (Other people are known to have written portions of the book, including “To Employers” and “The Doctor’s Opinion,” for example.) Moving these works into public domain then re-copyrighting the third edition and not claiming that Bill Wilson was the only author would prevent anyone from suing AA over the original copyright. These same sources add that AA’s General Service Office (GSO) claimed to misunderstood the law in order to hide its true motives. This theory needs to be qualified by saying that these sources seem to have a bone to pick with AA in general. They present evidence to support their claims; however, it is very difficult to confirm its veracity, due to the lack of documentation available to the public from the AA’s service structures.

Whatever its reasons, this apparent oversight has caused a considerable headache for AAWS and the GSO as a whole, because a large part of their budget comes from literature sales. The projected net income from sales for the year of 2013 was $7,782,800. This figure represents profits after subtracting all costs for royalties, manufacturing and shipping. This money was expected to cover 54% of GSO’s expenses for 2013. The 2013 gross income was budgeted at $95,000 less than 2012—showing a decline in sales, though not a steep one. GSO hoped to compensate by reducing production and distribution costs in order to increase the profit margin.

Although the current laws would have extended the copyright until at least 2021, AAWS must adhere to the laws that were in place when the first and second editions were published. The applicable law, the 1909 Copyright Act, dictates that copyrights must be renewed in writing after 30 years. International copyright laws, on the other…read more at “The Fix”

I validated the claims of this article by researching all day.  Here are some of the verifications.

http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/fair-use-policy  What happened to the triangle in the circle?

Sources http://aa-speakers.com/aa-big-book-copyright/

http://aamo.info/aa/history/mklibrary/openletter.htm

http://www.barefootsworld.net/aacircletriangle.html

http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-pamphlet2.html

http://www.silkworth.net/gsowatch/1939/uslaw.htm

 

Spiritual Seagulls

Don’t Quench the Spirit! So it says in the Bible. If you get filled with a song then let it out. This woman is singing in an unknown tongue.

These birds seems to be dancing to the singers voice.

Recovery from Grave Emotional Disorder

THERE IS A GOD AND I’M NOT IT!

WE DO NOT HAVE TO STAY IN DENIAL ABOUT OUR DEFECTS OF CHARACTER, WE DO NOT TAKE INVENTORY TO BEAT OURSELVES UP.  WE DEVELOPED OUR CHARACTER DEFECTS AS AN INSTINCT TO SURVIVE EMOTIONALLY.   WE NOW HAVE THE TOOLS TO CHANGE…BUT FEW CHANGES WILL COME WITHOUT COURAGEOUS SELF-APPRAISAL.

Most parents don’t have any idea what emotional nurturing is.  First instinct when we hear this parental blight is to protect the pack.  The pack are usually the very people (family) who inadvertently taught us to shut down who we really are.  Grave emotional disorder is at the core of addictive personalities.  “Grave disorder(How it Works)” is basically constipated and stifled emotions.  We addicts often  learned how not to cry and how not to share our heart.  We learned to wear a mask and hide who we are so we wouldn’t get hurt.  So we thought.  If your emotions are healthy and happy then why in the hell did you try to drink and drug yourself to death?  Come on now.  Oh right you did it because of an innate gene pool.   Well then for you there could be no cure.  But for those of us who have learned a twisted set of emotional responses and survival tactics.  We can unlearn them.  You can’t swim your way out of a gene pool.

We in AA have identified an array of character defects that are the culprits of our addictive patterns. Among these are the inclination to control everyone and everything around us. Some of us are painfully controlling while others are more passive-aggressive with their scheming. Our defects cause friends and family to run from us like we are ravenous wolves.
Some of us have learned to use other people’s control defect to our advantage. We can passively control others by handing over a certain amount of our own power to them.
Ah yes how we can puff up a gentlemen’s ego by asking him to make our choices for us. Handing over our decision making is a perfect way for a damsel to relinquish responsibility for any consequences of that decision. At the same time, it makes our Knight in shining armor feel so powerful and smart that he is more than willing to help us. The problem is the Knight is weaving his own manipulation, there are many invisible strings attached to his assistance.
When we snatch our power back and the knight inevitably becomes disturbed we will just label him possessive and take out a restraining order. Yikes! Don’t try this at home!
The damsel and the gentlemen is just one example of controlling behavior. We have all seen those who are painfully controlling, they are the one’s running around like directors on a movie screen. When the movie doesn’t play out like they want it to, they promptly fall apart or get very angry and spin around a bit screaming and yelling. Take controlism up another notch and you have obsessive compulsive disorder.
The fact is if resentment is rearing its ugly head you can bet there is a fear at the heart of it. (Pg.417 BB) Getting in touch with one’s own “God syndrome” is important during a fourth step. Once we have established the identity of our controlling side we can use that knowledge in all our tenth steps. Contrary to popular portrayal in The Rooms resentments do crop up and it doesn’t mean we are not “working a program”. People can be ass-holes and they are going to piss us off. Getting a resentment lets us know we are still [feeling] and still sober. Holding on to resentment is dangerous and can result in misery if not checked.
Finding the part of us who wants to play god doesn’t happen for everybody. Some sober people just never get it…the blame game worked for them for so long they are just incapable of trying a healthy solution. You will find them engaging in numerous sick relationships with train wreck break-ups that are never their fault.
The steps are in order for a reason meaning the third step must be done before a fourth will have that supernatural kick. With God’s help the revelation of self will happen during our fourth step.
If we realize our resentments are rooted in wanting to control other adults and the fear that accompanies a of lack of power pg. 45 Big Book then join the club, but consider yourself blessed you already know yourself better than many

You’re Right Where You’re Supposed to Be.

You’re Right Where You’re supposed to be.

Link to Twelve Step Prayers.

Your Right Where Your Supposed to Be

So many times during the first two years of recovery I felt as if I was somehow doing something wrong in my recovery or that something was not right with my progress. I used to feel like my feelings themselves where wrong. Especially if I was sad or fearful, on the edge of depression or angry. I was fortunate to have effective group therapy which when combined with Alcoholics Anonymous kept me and several of my rehab-mates sober for a very long time. We all had sexual abuse in our past and took our addiction to places we were ashamed of. But I learned THERE IS NO WRONG FEELING, EVER.

It’s completely normal to go through an emotional rollercoaster ride in the first couple years of sobriety.

Continue reading “You’re Right Where You’re Supposed to Be.”

When Will My Loved One Finally Hit Their Bottom?

“The Mystery of the Unpredictable Bottom”

No one absolutely no one knows when they or anyone else will hit the emotional bottom that it takes to get sober. Getting clean and sober is no easy task.

However, if we have hit a nasty emotional bottom, it usually causes a deep and lingering fear within us of returning to the horrible drink and drug that planted our guilt. That fear in itself can supply the momentum needed to stay sober long enough to get a sponsor and work the steps. Unfortunately we never know when that bottom will appear. We never know when a loved one will have had enough.

Sometime the fear of going back out hangs onto to us even after years of sobriety. Reason being most of us have relapsed so many times we just don’t trust ourselves. Think about it, even if another man betrays us we never fully trust him again. We do this same thing to ourselves (most of us) by setting out to stay sober over and over and failing miserably. Therefore we tend to feel we are on really shaky ground even after years of sobriety. As a solution for that fear I would tell myself. “Self, it’s not you that is keeping you sober, you are relying on the program now, as long as you work the program, the program works! You will not relapse. I knew it worked because I heard testimony upon testimony of just that in meetings.

Typically with addicts we may feel extremely guilty and remorseful about the the debauchery of the night before and quit for a day or two. But unfortunately again addicts forget so quickly the pain of a hangover or the pain of withdraw symptoms until directly after the next benge.

What the program does if we work it is remind us of the pain we have been through so its not so easy to justify that first drink or first drug. Therefore, the rationalization and memory lapses that are required to get drunk again do not happen as readily.

So many times we addicts get sober then hope and pray our loved ones will follow suit. We think if we just share what worked for us surely they will take the same route. Why wouldn’t they? We think. But very seldom do they follow suit until they finally hit their own pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.

The more we harp on them to stay sober and preach to them about what worked for us the more it pushes our loved ones away.

So we pray “God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change the courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Meet Sober Dog

Meet Sober Dog

He’s FINE at 90 days sober. Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. He is also going to be a drug counselor to the stars.

click to enlarge

Sober Dog

Dope-Fiend Thief Caught on Camera (video clip)

Most addicts in recovery have done things they are ashamed of. That is one reason a step four is so important. The Twelve Steps are priceless for the addict who wants to recovery from a tainted past.

This fine gentleman thought it would be ok to take our front porch furniture this morning. If you happen to see him, or know of him, please pass on a hearty "thanks a lot DIRTBAG" from me and mine and then alert the Jacksonville police.

Posted by Kristi Houlberg on Saturday, February 13, 2016

Addiction is “Fear Management”

Franklin D. Roosevelt said “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”.

WHY does it seem addicts are far more fearful than other people?   It is a fear of feelings that drives a man to numb all his feelings including the blessed ones.  At the core of addiction lies fear, shame, and an inability to process our feelings in a healthy way.

Panic attacks, anxiety, stress, shame, embarrassment, nervousness, phobias, freaking out,, shame, insecurity, shyness, inferiority are all bi-products of fear.  Addiction =”fear management gone awry”.

Some may highly disagree with the fear theory.  They will tell us they are ashamed of nothing and don’t give a damn what anybody thinks of them!   And as they approach life through a platform of anger and wrath what they say is in some ways true.   We bathe in anger to cover fear, hurt and pain.  This is the addicts basic false-pride and denial system born from a core of fear and shame.  Shame is a form of fear.  Shame is the belief that other people are better than us and will see that we are BAD so we hide. (I do wish I was not writing my own emotional story here).

But please, before we slip into a warm cherry pie of deep dish denial and hang the messenger.

Please realize, addicts are not at fault for their deep fear/shame feelings.  In the formative years of which we were sponges learning the basics of life itself and where we fit into it, some adult/adults who probably loved us (as much as they were able) convinced us that we were of less value than other people.  These influential moms, dads, uncles, brothers, sisters, priests, pastures,  coaches and teachers were in a position to literally form our self-image at a core level.  Most likely they themselves reflected their own self-image onto us. They felt worthless and so we were worthless.  At times addict-type parents are ashamed even of their own children.

Low self esteem breeds defensiveness.  

We wear our hearts on our sleeves and we flinch and lash-out at any remote suggestion that we are bad, wrong, ugly, stupid, or any other negative connotation such as these.  Feeling threatened we immediately switch-off to blame-mode and block out countless opportunities for fruitful and productive relationships.  We routinely cut-off our own nose to spite our face.

And so as young emotionally defenseless children, we walked around with our heads hung low separate from the flock, prime prey for the abusive and distorted sex offender who reels us in by telling us what we crave to hear more than anything; ‘WE ARE OF VALUE, WE ARE LOVED’.

This my friend is the story of many an addict boys and girls alike.

IF AN ADDICT DOESN’T KNOW HE HAS BEEN  DEEPLY ASHAMED HE HASN’T GOTTEN DOWN TO “CAUSES AND CONDITIONS”….YET, IN his/her RECOVERY PROCESS.   But this is the beginning of healing, realizing the malady’s core.

We formed temporary emotional survival skills for our deep shame, but our skills, primal in nature have become destructive and push away the ones we love most and those we could have loved.  Our slip-shot solutions are destructive and hurt others.  We set ourselves up not as equals but rather as better than everyone else.  We do this through harsh condemning judgments and endless fault finding and criticisms.   We had to find a way to live with ourselves.  When we drink and drug then we are beautiful, then we are strong, then we do not have to be ashamed.

But the drugs quit working that’s why we are here in AA to find new solutions.  Solutions that do not consist of blame as their pre-requisite.  Solutions that will aid in our sobriety and our emotional healing.  And hopefully somewhere in our recovery we learn it’s ok to cry.  That crying  and being hurt are part of being human.  We MUST FIND WAYS TO PROCESS THE MOST INTENSE OF OUR FEELINGS IF WE DON’T, THEN WE WILL CONTINUE REPRESSING EMOTIONS.

THE SOLUTIONS ARE HERE WE JUST NEED TO USE THEM.

What do we do?  An immersion into AA or any 12 step group is vital. We do a serious third step.

We do step four and list all prejudice, shame, resentment, silent judgement, guilt, and all hurtful actions.  We do ongoing step work. We make a FEAR LIST.

We do step 12 chair meetings in jails, institutions, and AA itself, all service work will build self-worth.  The more the better.

We get therapy and develop emotional processes that work for us.  We hournal, write, cry, scream, groan, beat the bag, share, beat the bed.  (There is no wrong feeling therefore we don’t have to hide and deny them.)  We confess past offences.

We write a biography of the intense times in our life-What happened and how it made us feel.

Practice Spirituality-Step Eleven is priceless and should be ongoing.

A connection to nature and the outdoors is very helpful.  We go to rivers, lakes, springs, snow, sky, caves, animals, walks and more.)

http://acestoohigh.com/got-your-ace-score/

I AM NOT AFRAID OF DYING!

What is terror management theory?

 

 

Google is “The Teacher that Remains a Student”

Why is Google both a Teacher and a Student?

We in recovery like to use the phrase “remain teachable” and “everyone is our teacher” and we had to become teachable to get and stay sober.  Sponsors teach us what they did to stay sober.  We pass on that information to our sponsees.

Google has to continually study the internet down to the last search and little homegrown website to continue to edit their search engine’s algorithm (the way searches are carried out) to suite all users from corporate hierarchy to the one man  entrepreneur like me.  The world’s largest and arguably its best search engine serves up over one billion results out of Mountain View, Calif., every day to people like me.  If they didn’t remain teachable they would be crowded out by better up and coming search engines.  Technology is a constantly changing field.

I just want to say Google I hope you remain an advocate of free internet and open source applications.  Thank you for your service to me and my writing.

Granted not all changes benefit big business either as shown in the article below.  And of coarse Google is a teacher who shows us how to develop a website which can climb in search results.  There are thousands of “helps” with which to learn Google’s requirements.

http://www.viperchill.com/google-control/

 

Glen Frye “Take it Easy” Rule 62

“Take it easy, don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy. Lighten up while you still can don’t even try to understand, just find A place and make your stand and take it easy yee ha!” This line has helped me lighten up on myself many times. It is basically saying the same thing to me as the unwritten rule 62 in AA “don’t take yourself so damn seriously!” I gotta say I have never ever cried over the loss of someone I didn’t know personally. But I am crying now. Listen to the song “Take it Easy” and “Hotel California” now.
CLICK TO SEE/HEAR “TAKE IT EASY”

glenn snip

CLICK TO HEAR “HOTEL CALIFORNIA” Hotel California Glenn Frye (front right guitarist), Don Henley, Joe Walsh and the gang.
Glenn snip2

Glenn Frey

One of the founding members of the Eagles, Glenn Frey, died today in New York City, his family and bandmates announced on the band’s website.

He was 67.

According to the statement from his loved ones and colleagues, Frey’s death was caused by complications from rheumatoid arthritis, acute ulcerative colitis and pneumonia.

“The Frey family would like to thank everyone who joined Glenn to fight this fight and hoped and prayed for his recovery,” read a statement on the Eagles’ website. “Words can neither describe our sorrow nor our love and respect for all that he has given to us, his family, the music community and millions of fans worldwide.”

A Detroit native, Frey met Don Henley when they were in their 20s and new to the music business. Soon after, they formed the Eagles with Randy Meisner and Bernie Leadon, quickly becoming one of the most popular rock bands of all time, with hits including “Take It Easy,” “Desperado,” and “Hotel California.” (Meisner was replaced by Timothy B. Schmit in 1977 and Joe Walsh took over for Leadon in 1975.) ABC NEWS click here to read entire article abc.com

NOT ALL SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES ARE GOOD-“My Overdose”

THE VISION I HAD DURING MY COCAINE OVERDOSE

From: “Paradise for the Hellbound” by author Laura Edgar
http://www.recoveryfarmhouse.net/paradise-for-the-hellbound/

____________________________________________________________________

“TRAPPED IN 1978″

I was deep into my Cocaine addiction. I had a few people who enabled my drug use and one was a guy name Ed. He was a drug dealer, not a street dealer mind you. He had a three hundred-thousand-dollar house in the late 70s and it was very nice. He drove a brand new BMW which was way too small in my opinion for his fat ass. Sorry I guess there is some resentment left. He was a greasy Italian not the beautiful kind like my daughter’s father. Those dark olive skin beauties with the almond shaped eyes that wear the top lid eye liner so well. My daughter is gorgeous and I am very proud of her Italian heritage. No! This man was a pale skinned sweaty, greasy, over-weight (yet judged anybody that didn’t have a models body) jet black hair, blood like ice coursing through his heartless veins, probably connected to the mafia, he sure as hell acted like it, Italian. I resent the hell out of him EVEN STILL because of what he nearly did to me and the fact that I have not let it go. I promise to work on it.
I remember one day I rode around with him back in Tampa in the BMW that smelled like cherries all the time. He stopped to drop money off to a woman at her house in Lutz. I asked him why she was receiving money from him. He talked in the “we” context about his organization of some sort. He said that basically one of his dealers (the woman’s husband apparently” went to jail while selling the organizations goods. So the woman was hand delivered compensation on a monthly basis since her husband didn’t snitch. My drug dealing friends taught me at a very young age YOU JUST DON’T SNITCH-EVER! Unlike the attitude of the people I have met in the later years of my rampant addiction who automatically snitched at the drop of a hat. I was taught that’s the lowest most worthless thing you can do to anyone.
I went to jail myself back then not long after that conversation. Recently one of my old friends from back in-the-day said the organization  almost had me killed for fear I would turn them in once I was arrested. Well, leaving town back then for a very long time may have saved my life. I refused to snitch and was on the run for thirteen years because of my principles. They didn’t know that I had refused to snitch. How would they know? I was over the deep end in their opinion. I couldn’t handle my drugs in their opinion. The drugs they supplied that is. Once I was arrested Fat Ed treated me like a bad tooth. He pulled me out and threw me away. My overdose happened prior to that. Allot went on back then but this isn’t a book about war stories. It’s a book about my recovery and how it all happened.

Our Dope Shooting Binge

We used to eat Quaalude and then break open the Cocaine bag. We snorted it, smoked it, shot it, and any other way we could find to get it into our blood stream that’s what we did. Me and “Fat Ed” as we called him were on a two-day coke shooting binge on this day. God blessed me with some very large and very strong veins. I rarely couldn’t hit myself once I learned how. However, this must have been before I learned to inject my own drugs because Fat Ed was hitting me up at this time. We were shooting up in the bathroom for some reason don’t remember why. We did shot after shot after shot but I wasn’t satisfied, it was never enough.   Long story short I kept complaining “Ed it’s not enough give me more, I want more, more, more!”. And on and on I went. I can’t say I blame Ed; he finally did what I asked him to do after many warnings. He kept saying “Lori it’s too strong, we must be careful”. But the nagging finally got to him as he fixed me up the lethal shot. He knew it would kill me, he knew what he made up would kill me. He knew it was way too much. He was sick of me hounding him. Fat Ed is still alive today from what I have heard, unlike many other of my old friends.

HE GAVE ME THE HUGE SHOT
I crashed to the bathroom floor. What they told me after I woke back up was they gave me C.P.R. and I finally woke up after a couple minutes. But it wasn’t because Ed saved my life. It was because his roommate Mike was in the house and refused to let me die. Mike was Ed’s longtime partner. He knew and didn’t approve of what we were doing in the bathroom. But it was what Mike told me about his best friend after I woke and he pulled me aside that really shocked me. Mike saved my life and then said “Lori, if you ever date Ed again after this I won’t have any respect for you.” Mike continued, “Ed told me to take you out and throw you into a dumpster. He had no desire to even try to bring you back.” He said. Those were the most words Mike had ever spoken to me. I remember his concern waking me up, “are you OK Lori, do you know where you are and what day it is?” I was so lost back then. I had no identity.   I didn’t know who I was emotionally or spiritually. I was back knocking on Ed’s door a few days later once I recuperated from my shocking overdose in spite of what Mike had told me. I didn’t know how to love myself….yet.

THE VISION

While I was out cold, apparently I fell flat on my back to the floor. I could feel myself as if I were shrunk down to nothing, my body left me. All I was, was a thought without a body. I was invisible as if I had been shrunk down into a minute fraction of my normal size so small the human eye could not have seen me. But my thoughts were still just as large as before.   My ideas were still alive. I had a consciousness about me.   I was not aware of why I was shrunk down in the center of a rock prison.   I didn’t know that I had, at one time had a body and lost it.   All I knew is I was crushed into the center of a rock and I couldn’t move.   There was no white light.  I was imprisoned and compressed inside blackness  without a body there was no time or space in that consciousness. There was no light of God’s Spirit that I could feel.  No warmth on my body from the sun, no wind on my shoulder.
Suddenly something happened to me abruptly someone was pulling me from the rock. It was horribly uncomfortable to come back out of the rock. Have you ever been awoken abruptly from a hangover sleep by a glass of cold water on the face? Magnify that by a million that is how it felt being brought back from the dead. My body screamed! My consciousness screamed! No! I wanted to be left in the rock, the rock would become my home even though I had no power at all to do anything crushed without a body or limb to move. I was ripped from the rock and my body ripped with the movement. I see the rock now it was white and black speckles. Like a rock you would see in a North Carolina river. But this rock was animated hanging me in anti-space where there is no time or space. Space is a wonderful thing I tell you. I never ever want to return to the prison I was in when I died. My overdose happened before I met my God, knew Jesus, before my third step. There was no white light my friend only a prison and a thought.   And Fat Ed would have left me there he didn’t care.   But I didn’t remember anything in my prison it was devoid of knowledge. All there was is a silent awareness. Mike was my angel that day back in 1978. Mike saved my soul from that rock prison. Mike acted in accordance with God, my God. Mike is in my prayers where-ever he may be. Please my friends seek God while it is still light. Get to know your maker lest you end up in that horrible place. Life and Love and having a vessel to call a body is the best way to be that I know of. My soul was imprisoned while I was alive, therefore when I died it was also imprisoned. I don’t know if I would have ever been freed from that prison had I not been brought back to life . In 1986 I was born again, born of the Spirit a second birth they call it¬¬. I came alive when I found that little Baptist Church in the meadow and God introduced Himself to me in a big way. (see “the Baptism of the Holy Spirit” chapter of Paradise for the Hellbound). http://www.recoveryfarmhouse.net/paradise-for-the-hellbound/#BAPTISM%20OF%20THE%20HOLY%20SPIRIT

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