If you have the cajonies to look at your life with clarity and truth.
War for profit shows the mentality of the men and women who rule the Earth and what they are concerned with primarily. We are roaches to many of them. And our self
esteem/ADDICTION problems are directly related to the indoctrination we suffered in schools, and our parents endured as well in the U.S. Does this mean we don’t do a personal
inventory? Hell no! It means we need to see the big picture of why our lives really went south and what was behind it. TV, education, poison foods, all part of our slave
mentality indoctrination. We were DEMORALIZED WAY BEFORE WE COMMITTED OUR FIRST WRONG to others. Credit where credit is due. THERE IS NO DISEASE OF ADDICTION. DRUGS WERE OUR
ATTEMPT AT A SOLUTION TO THE PAIN WE HID DEEP INSIDE US FOR SO LONG.
No holds barred. Start by doing allot of deep level step eleven meditation along with your 12 step program.
My most deep seeded character flaw is that I think I am inherently “bad”. This is how my mind was programmed as a child. I got beat by those I loved because I was bad. I was also taught in so many words that my ideas, hopes, dreams, thoughts and feelings were all bad and wrong as well. The education system had much to do with this demoralization process. as did TV.
And guess what? My parents were not abusive per say…just ignorant. They were as I was, indoctrinated into a system of punishment and shaming. I spent the next 30 years PUNISHING MYSELF. And if you don’t see the self punishment in your addiction wake up!
NOW….since 99% of my dysfunction was actually done TO ME rather than BY ME in my thorough 4th and 5th steps I have been sure to include wrongs suffered, “WHAT HAPPENED AND HOW IT MADE ME FEEL” in my fourth step,(the magic words of expression).
DAMN RIGHT I was afraid..when you start the day thinking your inferior to all of mankind well, not only does it set the stage for fear but it also sets the stage for hiding all of who I am including creativity and healthy flowing emotions. We don’t become emotionally stunted when we start using so much as WE WERE STUNTED EMOTIONALLY BECAUSE OF SHAME.
When the emotional processes stop then the pain builds up.
Funny thing, I have the same symptoms as most of my addict cohorts who all had wonderful childhoods full of emotional nurturing and care.
It took me seven years sober to see why I REALLY drank and drugged. The core. Not just labels of “fear” and other text book reasons for addiction.
Why get to the core of “WHY” we used? To process our root pain in a healthy way (what happened and how it made me feel, tears, screams guttural sounds etc) and get the real poison wreckage out. We don’t like what we see about our “pack” (family/parents) so we blind ourselves to it. This stifles the healing process. This kind of healing process is not about criticism and blame it is about expressing our deepest truths and feelings from youth. Usually we had no concept of the emotional damage being done to us when it occurred.